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Back Again

The PC is now fully restored and running fast, didn’t take as long as I feared it would and relatively few problems. The main issue is I still can’t find any way of saving my email settings so I am constantly forgetting them. I have them written down but I then have to enter each in manually and it is a right pain when there are a dozen of them.

My friend from school arrived here on Wednesday with the intent to stay until Thursday. It’s difficult to describe Paul politely but suffice to say, I am going to try!

He is just a few months my senior yet acts at least 20+ years more than that. His age is an excuse not to do anything in life, strangely, he has always had an excuse not to do anything, and his ancient being (apparently) is just one of the many excuses he has. I swear I shall swing for him if he tries to bundle me in his exclusive ‘too old to change now’ club. He suffers panic attacks believing alcohol offers a far better solution that the doctor could so seeking the former on a regular basis and the latter not at all. I allowed him to share my bed (for sleep) against my better judgement and he is terrible. He says he has a single bed but yet it appeared my King-size bed was not big enough for him. I found myself without covers more times than I could recount and often struggling to find any room in the bed either and trust me on this, Paul is not a big man! Never again will he come anywhere near my bed!

He went home yesterday and not a moment too soon. I was bored rigid by the guy and sickened by his pathetic excuse for a life.

Robin finally had confirmation from G yesterday that G had no real feelings for him and that has brought that to a close. My personal feeling is that this is long overdue and Robin will be the better for it long term but for now he is hurting and I am there for him, he’ll get through it with help.

I am feeling terribly lonely, missing Martyn even though it is wrong and stupid for me to do so. Still, I can’t help the way I feel and the being apart thing is difficult for me but it is ‘me’ and there is no way I expect Martyn to do anything about it or feel bad about it. That said, I am not feeling bad for having these feelings either. They are natural and part of who I am and as long as I can deal with it (and I can) then there is not a problem!

Speaking of Martyn, glad he got his graphics card sorted. I was a lot more stupid, went to PC World for a new one, got one but the wrong one which delayed my PC rebuild by quite a bit. The replacement card I got was not my chosen card but it did resolve my problem so that has to be a good thing.

Jermaine is back today, arrived a few hours ago and he doesn’t look at all well. The respite centre has clearly not been taking his care seriously enough and I am certainly not happy about it and the community nurse saw him too and she is none too happy either and shall be paying them a visit to put them right on a few things. Took me nearly 2 hours earlier to pick up some medication for him waiting for the doctor to sign the script then trying to find a pharmacy that had the stuff in stock, a right pain!

Matt is out now for the evening so it is just me and the girls. Neither of them is a conversationalist so I feel totally lonely and not a little pissed off as I also have to monitor the carers and make sure they know what they are doing but also I have a district nurse service now for him so I have to make sure they know what they are doing too and often they don’t.

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