Steve from England

Dear Mum When I had nightmares is was about losing you. I'd wake up sweating after you had fallen off a cliff or just stopped breathing reading your book (Catherine Cookson most likely). Sometimes, because of those dreams I'd just sit there watching you making sure you were still breathing. You were my world, my anchor, my rock. I was growing up, I know I wasn't being myself, I know that how I appeared to be was what Dad expected me to be, all the men in the family were real men, top of their sports. They were not like me, I was not like them. I wanted to have that conversation about how I felt different but, I had time, I knew I had time and, well, I was a long while off grown up yet and, things might change, isn't that what they say? You never really know for sure, not whilst you are young? Mum, I should have told you, I should have got to know you as an adult and not kept myself your little boy. It was my safe space, my sanctuary to come home to you, things a