Oh, I meant to say ... about being gay

It's been troubling me for some time ... why it is that it is always assumed that being gay is just about sex?

I love being with men but sex isn't what does it for me. I just feel more comfortable around men. I like hugs and kisses and being tender with a man. I mean, sex can be great but why do guys automatically assume that it has to end in sex?

This pain thing I currently have has got me thinking about it more because I am also thinking what maybe I can't do as easily as I would like, more accurately, what I may like to do to someone else. It bothers me that I could be less of a person because I can't perform as well as I would be happy performing. What upsets me more though is that I may not be able to give pleasure to someone I really care about, yes, you know and the rest can guess. So, if that doesn't happen, well, it's OK by me it doesn't have to. If it does and it somehow turns out to be wonderful, then, well, enough said.

Why write it here?

Because I need to say it out loud or I will burst. Once I write something down it is out of my system, the pressure is lifted, that's why. But, if anyone would rather not be mentioned, I can understand that too, just ask and if I can avoid it, I shall but try to remember, it's my pressure release, don't ask unless it's really important.

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