Why can I never get above that certain percentage?

Why is it that no matter how hard I try, for everything that goes right in my life, something else has to go equally wrong to counter it and, more often than not, to tip the balance away from right and down into very right?

What I want most out of life (apart from world peace) is to help people, make them happy and, in return, to have some happiness myself and, just maybe, some appreciation and the slightest degree of effort put back. All too often though I am on this single handed attempt to do the right thing up against those who have to see the worst in me.

I am not perfect, I am anything but perfect. Why then, if I am not God, do I often feel my world stops if I am not about or, if not ‘stops’ then falls apart?

I will keep going as long as I can find the energy but I have been on reserve power for a long time now and I cannot find a charging point so, soon I’ll be spent

No matter what though I am going to work with people who make life worth living, who I can see need me.

Seeing people I love torn apart by thoughtlessness and and pointless bickering is doing my head in, what’s that all about? With all the wicked things there are on this planet, can’t we all just get along? In the great scheme of things, even within our own small circle, these arguments are insignificant. It’s sometimes like, life is so boring that some shit needs to be thrown in to make it interesting … hey, I don’t need this sort of interesting!

Comments

You Bloody Idiot

I had a really enjoyable time in Meltham with Stan and Pete, even that walk against the wind up the pub on Saturday evening in a blizzard was fun. On the way there I thought it’d be fun to take some pictures of the car in the snow. I had not realised just how windy it was, I seriously thought my door was stuck when I tried to open it but it was just being pressurised by the forces outside. I am lucky really the wind had not been behind me else the door would have been ripped off. On the way back on Sunday I paid a visit to Sue in Sheffield. I like Sue and she is a great conversationalist. The journey was not without incident as the satnav kept failing and crashing and just became useless. I eventually tracked the problem down to the loudspeaker connection for the mount and once I’d removed that it was stable and guided me well to Sue’s door. I am really happy to report that the steroid injection I had last week as helped ease my pain. I still have the pain but it is not restricting me ...

2 Weeks in

Amazing as it seems I am two weeks through my visit here. Some might be getting a little confused about why I am here. There is only one important reason and that is to be with Dennis. This isn’t a vacation to me, it’s just about having to travel to the Philippines because it is where Dennis happens to be. I’m still in very regular contact with home dealing with daily issues, the council, social services and so on. I am geographically away from it but technically still connected. Obviously it’s cool to wander into Manila and see the place, travel in a Jeepney and so on. Wandering around the malls is fun but it is who I am with rather than where I am that matters most to me. Highlights for me, apart from every second I spend with Dennis have to be meeting family and friends. Veronica and her family and Imee of course who has kept me entertained for hours with conversation about anything and everything Ireneo too tries real hard wit...

Not a good day

Today is a very emotional one for me. I have no idea why that would be the case but apparently it is. For a day that had nothing pre-arranged this one has turned out quite busy. First, I agreed to take Matt for breakfast though I wasn't really hungry. He was being quite argumentative in the morning about some thing or other, I don't recall what exactly but some matter of politics where he was going to argue the toss whilst knowing little or nothing about it. But, even so, I was quite upbeat as Jermaine had gone to school on time ... no, scrub that, i was upbeat until I yet again had to tell Zoey to get her arse out of her room, downstairs, do her chores and get to school, that is when this day started to go downward. I spent way too much money on a new doorbell, true, we needed one but not one that cost nearly £50! This too has not helped. I went to see a garage that can fit parking sensors to my car, all well and good but they needed me to supply paint to match the circles up ...

Steve from England

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