Skip to main content

I don’t wanna …

… ever lose my memory

I dunno, it could be stress of lack of sleep but both my memory and concentration are going tits up and have been for a few months now and I really hate it.

I have not gone doolaly, not yet anyway (still time) but if this is a sample of what losing marbles is like then I don’t much like it. I start saying something and then nothing, total blank. I am forgetting names, forgetting what day of the week it is even. Some things I remember with perfect clarity, indeed, most things I do but the processing time seems a lot longer than I am used to, sometimes though, the memory doesn’t come at all and I draw a blank and on important things too like family names, how wrong is that?

Anyway, hopefully I am still sort of useful.

Zoey’s social worker came round earlier. During the meeting she asked what I did for a break. Not because my memory is lacking but because it is reality, I had nothing to give her, what the hell is a break?

I remember the USA in 2004 for one week and another week in 2007 to Gran Canaria, they were the only times I’d say I have had a break, the sort where I can think and stop worrying about everything else for a while. The social worker was asking about afternoons or, like it’s ever gonna happen, weekends! Like I have time to ever truly relax for such a short period. The only time I was able to relax for short periods was when Tony was alive. I used his place as a sanctuary. There was no phone signal there. I could just turn up and go to bed if I wanted to knowing that if anyone tried to get hold of me they couldn’t, it was a good feeling and Tony, always looked after me, bless him.

This world of grown up pressures is scary and stress is a horrible thing.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Budget Day

So, we have the ‘Let’s buy a whole host of gullible voters day’ with George Osborne. No doubt we’ll be told how employment is rising, how the deficit is falling, how we’re all so much better off now than we were (compared to what?). We’ll be told that there are still tough times ahead but that only a Conservative government can steer us through them. It will be pointed out how inflation remains low, how not raising duty on fuel has helped everyone as is seen by the current lower prices at the pumps (it’s going up again George). In short, I should listen to this budget later and decide to vote Conservative in May but, I won’t. Labour certainly did nothing to avoid the mess the country got in but they didn’t cause it. They made the mistake of trying to be too conservative, allowing high finance the freedom to cause a catastrophic cock up for which they took zero responsibility. They made the mistake of allowing Gordon Brown to take the job of Prime Minister, one for which he is totally...
2 comments
Read more

Not a good day

Today is a very emotional one for me. I have no idea why that would be the case but apparently it is. For a day that had nothing pre-arranged this one has turned out quite busy. First, I agreed to take Matt for breakfast though I wasn't really hungry. He was being quite argumentative in the morning about some thing or other, I don't recall what exactly but some matter of politics where he was going to argue the toss whilst knowing little or nothing about it. But, even so, I was quite upbeat as Jermaine had gone to school on time ... no, scrub that, i was upbeat until I yet again had to tell Zoey to get her arse out of her room, downstairs, do her chores and get to school, that is when this day started to go downward. I spent way too much money on a new doorbell, true, we needed one but not one that cost nearly £50! This too has not helped. I went to see a garage that can fit parking sensors to my car, all well and good but they needed me to supply paint to match the circles up ...
Read more