Skip to main content

Changes

Are in the air, maybe?

 

I don’t know. I want to believe everything will now be OK. I have been pushing for what we currently have right now for so long even I was starting to doubt it myself. But, after so long, it seems somewhat unreal. A little like someone calling to say we are a lottery winner yet, not so far having received a cheque. I want to start reaping the rewards but, until things are firmly in the bank I remain anxious. I know I don’t have the energy to go through it all again so this time really has to be ‘the’ time.

 

Eastenders … wow, Frank’s dead! Pauline has not been in it for weeks and I reckon her Arthur is up to no good.

 

I am starting to accept now it is very unlikely we are going to go to Gran Canaria this summer. Thanks to a certain person the chances are slim of my receiving the money I am owed before I have to make a decision one way or another. It’s really annoying but, one of those things which remains out of my control and one I refuse to get myself any more worked up over. I am determined to crack the latest lump of poo stressy stuff so, saying no to certain things and people is essential to that. All I need to get sorted now is actually going to bed at a sensible time … memo to self, 5am is not a sensible time.

 

I just checked, today is Friday, this means tomorrow is Saturday and the day after that, all things being equal, shall be Sunday. Because of half term, because of who has been around me, I have had zero concept of actual days at all this week. Someone called earlier and I asked “what are you doing working on a Saturday?” Yes, I am making myself seem somewhat prattish!

 

Oh, back to sensible bed times … it is also unreasonable (note to self) to start cutting hair at 4am regardless of how good the results look! Steve (that’s me in case anyone is feeling as dizzy as me right now) Steve, get some sleep!

 

IMG_0854

Well, all who have seen it … up until midday today at least, liked it.

 

I watched Holby earlier on iPlayer. Forgot how much I like Casualty and Holby .. may not remember to watch it again for months though.

 

Spent a couple of days this week repairing a very sick computer. I have never worked on one so riddled with malware. It took 4 separate programs to finally remove it. It’s a good job the owner asked me to do it as a favour rather than take it to PC World, their fee would have been more than the PC was worth!

 

I think, for now, I am going to relax with regard to web creation. I have updated several sites now and I believe I deserve a break.

 

Speaking of breaks, I also keep thinking I am going away somewhere for a break yet, as far as my memory is telling me right now, I have nothing booked. Maybe part of my brain is telling me I should?

 

A bath then bed I think …

 

Oh, I was asked earlier, how’s it being a granddad? I answered that it is like being a dad without the added pressure. Then I was asked, if it is like being a dad, how come you can cope with them not being around all the time? My reply was that, as a parent, I have already had to get used to half of my kids not being around most of the time and it doesn’t get any easier.

 

Every day I miss them but, the reality is, at some point we’ll have to part, life doesn’t go on forever so my being around all the time now isn’t healthy for them long term. They need to manage without me and that thought upsets me about as much as I suppose it does them but it is rather unavoidable. The difficult thing, the really nearly impossible thing, is not to smother the kids. If they are ill it upsets me as much now as it did when they were crying in pain as babies. I still, with everything I know, feel useless much of the time and just want them better. I think I have been very lucky in so many ways. I bond terribly easily and, quite possibly, when I have, that bond doesn’t break. Once I have accepted someone into my heart, they are always there and never more so than with my own children and grandchildren.

 

One thing is for sure and very difficult for me and, probably most other parents, sharing. As they get older we have to share our kids with others. It’s great in that we have extra people in our lives but, at the same time, it feels like a little of that love and bond is lost as well, there are other people to turn to. With grandchildren that generally happens from the moment they are born. We are always a step away from being their world, we have to accept that sharing them is a vital part of their lives. I don’t know, other grandparents out there must know what I mean? I know it wouldn’t have made sense to me before Josh was born! Right now though, it makes perfect sense.

 

Bath time, bed time and that, Stevie boy, is an order!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Budget Day

So, we have the ‘Let’s buy a whole host of gullible voters day’ with George Osborne. No doubt we’ll be told how employment is rising, how the deficit is falling, how we’re all so much better off now than we were (compared to what?). We’ll be told that there are still tough times ahead but that only a Conservative government can steer us through them. It will be pointed out how inflation remains low, how not raising duty on fuel has helped everyone as is seen by the current lower prices at the pumps (it’s going up again George). In short, I should listen to this budget later and decide to vote Conservative in May but, I won’t. Labour certainly did nothing to avoid the mess the country got in but they didn’t cause it. They made the mistake of trying to be too conservative, allowing high finance the freedom to cause a catastrophic cock up for which they took zero responsibility. They made the mistake of allowing Gordon Brown to take the job of Prime Minister, one for which he is totally...
2 comments
Read more

Not a good day

Today is a very emotional one for me. I have no idea why that would be the case but apparently it is. For a day that had nothing pre-arranged this one has turned out quite busy. First, I agreed to take Matt for breakfast though I wasn't really hungry. He was being quite argumentative in the morning about some thing or other, I don't recall what exactly but some matter of politics where he was going to argue the toss whilst knowing little or nothing about it. But, even so, I was quite upbeat as Jermaine had gone to school on time ... no, scrub that, i was upbeat until I yet again had to tell Zoey to get her arse out of her room, downstairs, do her chores and get to school, that is when this day started to go downward. I spent way too much money on a new doorbell, true, we needed one but not one that cost nearly £50! This too has not helped. I went to see a garage that can fit parking sensors to my car, all well and good but they needed me to supply paint to match the circles up ...
Read more

Understanding the British

As a nation we are a funny lot. We get through the worries of life with humour. Not always good taste humour and the words 'too soon' are often mentioned! Now, this is not unique to us, many other countries adopt humour to get them through. I am going to show some ideas of humour here, don't shoot me, we're just musing this topic. Moment of silence for the people who agreed to live with shitty roommates because they "wouldn't be spending much time at home anyway" There is going to be a lot of pressure over the next few days to talk to friends and family. Fight it. Stay positive Anyway, you get the picture. Actually, most of those came from the USA. It's terribly British for one person to cough and a whole host of others stare and one person shouts, 'we're all dead now, he's got the virus'. Obviously it's not a joking matter but, without keeping our sense of the ridiculous we would go quite potty. Estimates c...
Post a Comment
Read more