Steve from England

Got a call from my man at the garage earlier ... the car should be ready next week AND it looks like it will be coming in under budget (this last one I shall believe when I get the bill) I have listed the C5 on Ebay again, I really cannot afford to not sell it and don't want to take the risk of placing all the repair costs on a credit card I then can't afford to repay, I don't need large interest payments on top of everything else. We are going to Northampton Museum today Other things remain the same: I am still overweight and can't afford to go to the gym The weather is rubbish Martyn's mum is still not well and I liked his mum when I met her Zoey is still in the shower We are still broke I still love John I still despair with Matt I am still going to be 44 next Monday

Got a call from my man at the garage earlier ... the car should be ready next week AND it looks like it will be coming in under budget (this last one I shall believe when I get the bill) I have listed the C5 on Ebay again, I really cannot afford to not sell it and don't want to take the risk of placing all the repair costs on a credit card I then can't afford to repay, I don't need large interest payments on top of everything else. We are going to Northampton Museum today Other things remain the same: I am still overweight and can't afford to go to the gym The weather is rubbish Martyn's mum is still not well and I liked his mum when I met her Zoey is still in the shower We are still broke I still love John I still despair with Matt I am still going to be 44 next Monday

The good news is that it could possibly be Jermaine will be moved into his lovely new flat within 6 weeks. Matt is another story. His apology earlier was rather pathetic. He's still not really said sorry to either Daisy or Deej and, indeed, seems to think saying sorry to anyone is more important than being with his mates. He has a set of rules now, in writing and he's been told that if he deviates from it just once he best have somewhere else to live. We shall see. I don't hold out much hope but there is still a little inside of me, I need to believe there is good in him ... for now. Car - still not sold Looked at Nick's new place the other day. It's small but not so much as I feared it may be and could be made to look real nice with a little effort and thought. I know how I'd do it but it's up to Nick how he does it and I am looking forward to seeing the end result. Loads of work still to do at Robin's of course but at least he is up and running again o...

The good news is that it could possibly be Jermaine will be moved into his lovely new flat within 6 weeks. Matt is another story. His apology earlier was rather pathetic. He's still not really said sorry to either Daisy or Deej and, indeed, seems to think saying sorry to anyone is more important than being with his mates. He has a set of rules now, in writing and he's been told that if he deviates from it just once he best have somewhere else to live. We shall see. I don't hold out much hope but there is still a little inside of me, I need to believe there is good in him ... for now. Car - still not sold Looked at Nick's new place the other day. It's small but not so much as I feared it may be and could be made to look real nice with a little effort and thought. I know how I'd do it but it's up to Nick how he does it and I am looking forward to seeing the end result. Loads of work still to do at Robin's of course but at least he is up and running again o...

I thought how much my blog looked like all the other blogs out there and what with me having a MySpace thingy now, it was time for a change. The address for that is this by the way. Hope you like it and it is not too difficult to read. I took this picture of myself last January in Gran Canaria and you don't often see me wearing a jumper in GC!

I thought how much my blog looked like all the other blogs out there and what with me having a MySpace thingy now, it was time for a change. The address for that is this by the way. Hope you like it and it is not too difficult to read. I took this picture of myself last January in Gran Canaria and you don't often see me wearing a jumper in GC!

It's darned well half term again, do these school never stay open more than a few days? The car has still not sold, not even a glimmer of interest and I am in a frame of mind whereby I am just enjoying this next month as after that my life is about to become hell as I am going to have to start spending money I don't have, paying mega amounts of interest and generally going through financial hell. I have never before known a car so difficult to sell as this Citroen is being. It's be understandable if there was something wrong with it but there isn't, it's as sweet as can be and will make someone a lovely motor but it seems destined to remain a millstone around my neck and I could end up losing loads if it doesn't go soon. The shite hit the fan with Matt today. Daisy told Kes about Matt and Zipsy and Kes told Kerry who then got to confirm the details. Kes managed to tell Kerry that it was me that told her ... actually, I suspect that Daisy didn't tell her eith...

It's darned well half term again, do these school never stay open more than a few days? The car has still not sold, not even a glimmer of interest and I am in a frame of mind whereby I am just enjoying this next month as after that my life is about to become hell as I am going to have to start spending money I don't have, paying mega amounts of interest and generally going through financial hell. I have never before known a car so difficult to sell as this Citroen is being. It's be understandable if there was something wrong with it but there isn't, it's as sweet as can be and will make someone a lovely motor but it seems destined to remain a millstone around my neck and I could end up losing loads if it doesn't go soon. The shite hit the fan with Matt today. Daisy told Kes about Matt and Zipsy and Kes told Kerry who then got to confirm the details. Kes managed to tell Kerry that it was me that told her ... actually, I suspect that Daisy didn't tell her eith...

We need shit but end up with weeds anyway. It could be fair to say I am going through a rough patch right now, one which has been getting worse and worse for a few months culminating in me thinking very seriously about going to sleep and not waking up and I mean 'really' thinking about that as an option in a logical and calculated way. Not that my conclusion was entirely against the idea, there were some considerable merits to the possibility. My rejection decision is because I feel I owe me one chance to get it right but, if I am honest, I feel I only have enough energy left for one more crack at it. My brain will not be able to handle another major issue in my life. The C5 is once again advertised at a price I feel it should get. If it doesn't then I am screwed. There is no point holding on to the idea of keeping the Sebring and I will just have to sell that as soon as it's repaired. If that's what I have to do I shall also sell the C5 at the same time for what ev...

We need shit but end up with weeds anyway. It could be fair to say I am going through a rough patch right now, one which has been getting worse and worse for a few months culminating in me thinking very seriously about going to sleep and not waking up and I mean 'really' thinking about that as an option in a logical and calculated way. Not that my conclusion was entirely against the idea, there were some considerable merits to the possibility. My rejection decision is because I feel I owe me one chance to get it right but, if I am honest, I feel I only have enough energy left for one more crack at it. My brain will not be able to handle another major issue in my life. The C5 is once again advertised at a price I feel it should get. If it doesn't then I am screwed. There is no point holding on to the idea of keeping the Sebring and I will just have to sell that as soon as it's repaired. If that's what I have to do I shall also sell the C5 at the same time for what ev...

It's lovely this morning ... the clouds are starting to roll in but it was great to wake this morning with the sun through the curtains and the feeling of heat. Whilst I know the BBC are crap at forecasts it is nice to just hold on to the thought that this week may be a getting better type of week with some real prospects of shorts and t-shirts required. Today does not feel like a Sunday ... actually, it does but somehow tomorrow doesn't feel right being Monday. I am really missing Jermaine and feeling terribly guilty for not visiting more often, I really don't have any excuses. OK, yes, I have excuses. It is a crap drive, it gets me knackered, I can't afford the fuel, the country lanes are so small it risks damaging the car each time and the staff there piss me off occasionally. My reason is that it is easier not to. Somehow I console myself telling me that he doesn't miss us, barely remembers who we are etc. Would I be the same with any of the other kids? Well, ye...

It's lovely this morning ... the clouds are starting to roll in but it was great to wake this morning with the sun through the curtains and the feeling of heat. Whilst I know the BBC are crap at forecasts it is nice to just hold on to the thought that this week may be a getting better type of week with some real prospects of shorts and t-shirts required. Today does not feel like a Sunday ... actually, it does but somehow tomorrow doesn't feel right being Monday. I am really missing Jermaine and feeling terribly guilty for not visiting more often, I really don't have any excuses. OK, yes, I have excuses. It is a crap drive, it gets me knackered, I can't afford the fuel, the country lanes are so small it risks damaging the car each time and the staff there piss me off occasionally. My reason is that it is easier not to. Somehow I console myself telling me that he doesn't miss us, barely remembers who we are etc. Would I be the same with any of the other kids? Well, ye...

The car did not sell. The highest bidder was around £3500 but that's not enough. One other guy who had been watching sent an email and he's looking at a figure of around £3400. I am just not selling it that low, it's the price for the car in terrible condition and I know I'd be selling myself short and resent it. When everyone who gets into the car loves it there has to be something good about it. There is something else in the pipeline, I am not sure if it will come off or not but it would be really cool if it did. What I have decided to do for now is to just not think about selling it again for at least another week, try and enjoy driving again and fill up the tank! Someone made me really happy earlier just by thinking about me, someone who is thinking about me just because he wanted to and it makes life worthwhile when that happens. I know others care too, Robin, Nick David, etc but occasionally a message of 'I thought of you today' from just about anyone is ...

The car did not sell. The highest bidder was around £3500 but that's not enough. One other guy who had been watching sent an email and he's looking at a figure of around £3400. I am just not selling it that low, it's the price for the car in terrible condition and I know I'd be selling myself short and resent it. When everyone who gets into the car loves it there has to be something good about it. There is something else in the pipeline, I am not sure if it will come off or not but it would be really cool if it did. What I have decided to do for now is to just not think about selling it again for at least another week, try and enjoy driving again and fill up the tank! Someone made me really happy earlier just by thinking about me, someone who is thinking about me just because he wanted to and it makes life worthwhile when that happens. I know others care too, Robin, Nick David, etc but occasionally a message of 'I thought of you today' from just about anyone is ...

That's what is left on the car. The figure currently stands at £2350.00. No one has bid in many hours, only 5 people have bid at all since the listing appeared. There have been no messages since this morning and that was discounted as one wanting it for £2500.00. No one has looked at it In short, this car is not going to sell as far as I can see, we are back where we were the last Ebay listing, zilch. I can give it two weeks on Ebay but then I may just have to cut my losses, pay for the repair to the Sebring and sell it, I really cannot afford both and if I can't sell the C5 I have to sell the one that will sell. How does that make me feel? Like I don't matter, like in the great scheme of things I am meant to be a giver, not a receiver. I know giving is jolly commendable but ... well, enough said on that I shall update just after 10:30 when the auction ends

That's what is left on the car. The figure currently stands at £2350.00. No one has bid in many hours, only 5 people have bid at all since the listing appeared. There have been no messages since this morning and that was discounted as one wanting it for £2500.00. No one has looked at it In short, this car is not going to sell as far as I can see, we are back where we were the last Ebay listing, zilch. I can give it two weeks on Ebay but then I may just have to cut my losses, pay for the repair to the Sebring and sell it, I really cannot afford both and if I can't sell the C5 I have to sell the one that will sell. How does that make me feel? Like I don't matter, like in the great scheme of things I am meant to be a giver, not a receiver. I know giving is jolly commendable but ... well, enough said on that I shall update just after 10:30 when the auction ends

After the failure to sell on AutoTrader and the failure to sell first time around on Ebay it is once again on Ebay using a different tragedy. With just 14 hours left to go there is not one person who has said they will be viewing it. One person offered £2500 subject to seeing it (like it could possibly be so bad as to only be worth that!) Currently it stands at £1605.00 but that's a totally fake figure assisted by a friend who kindly agreed to keep the bidding going until the reserve was met. There have been no bids since 22:03 on 18th. That's 12 hours of stillness. I know I am being told not to worry, things will all happen in the last hour or so but having been in the last hour or so once before, experience is showing me that no movement at this stage means no bugger is really seriously interested in it. Sure, there are 26 watching but that's all they are.

After the failure to sell on AutoTrader and the failure to sell first time around on Ebay it is once again on Ebay using a different tragedy. With just 14 hours left to go there is not one person who has said they will be viewing it. One person offered £2500 subject to seeing it (like it could possibly be so bad as to only be worth that!) Currently it stands at £1605.00 but that's a totally fake figure assisted by a friend who kindly agreed to keep the bidding going until the reserve was met. There have been no bids since 22:03 on 18th. That's 12 hours of stillness. I know I am being told not to worry, things will all happen in the last hour or so but having been in the last hour or so once before, experience is showing me that no movement at this stage means no bugger is really seriously interested in it. Sure, there are 26 watching but that's all they are.

Yes, you guessed it, number 2 son is going to get back with the child girlfriend. Oh, they are not seeing each other right now, oh no, not actually going out because they said they weren't. They do however see each other when ever possible and Matt has used up half a month's phone credit on her already in just one week. OK, not strictly true, he's used it up on her and his other girl he's also not going out with 'Zippsy'. Whilst Matt and the child are not currently seeing each other this is to be resolved in July when they apparently are going to see each other again. Yes, like me, you are probably wondering 'what the fuck?' but I am sorry, I don't have the answers. I spoke to him earlier and these are his views: It would be wrong for his gay mate of 19 to date a guy of 14 even 10 months after they started dating if they were still together It would be wrong for a guy of 19 to be dating his 14 year old sister even 10 months after they started dating ...

Yes, you guessed it, number 2 son is going to get back with the child girlfriend. Oh, they are not seeing each other right now, oh no, not actually going out because they said they weren't. They do however see each other when ever possible and Matt has used up half a month's phone credit on her already in just one week. OK, not strictly true, he's used it up on her and his other girl he's also not going out with 'Zippsy'. Whilst Matt and the child are not currently seeing each other this is to be resolved in July when they apparently are going to see each other again. Yes, like me, you are probably wondering 'what the fuck?' but I am sorry, I don't have the answers. I spoke to him earlier and these are his views: It would be wrong for his gay mate of 19 to date a guy of 14 even 10 months after they started dating if they were still together It would be wrong for a guy of 19 to be dating his 14 year old sister even 10 months after they started dating ...