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This year is ...

A year of change.

It's the year that Matt got so bad that I became totally sure that he has to move out, as much for his benefit as anyone else.

I did a first and bought a car on Ebay. Little did I know how much that decision was to dominate the next few months and threaten my holiday nearly 4 months later

Robin moved to Northampton, certainly a good move.

Nick moved to his new bed-sit.

My body has got huge (for me)

Zoey is leaving school in just over a week

Jermaine is finally moving to his new flat next month

This is only the first half of the year!

I like to live life positively but I am also a realist. I would love to say that 2007 part 2 will be plain sailing and one of the happiest times of my life but I have this feeling that something bad is going to happen to really shake this year and I don't get feelings like that often and I so hope I am wrong on it. I feel Matt is hiding a lot from me, that there is something going on in his life which is heading for disaster. All the pressure of the 1st half of this year has really halted the happiness of my relationship with John. We still love each other but the passion is on hold as I just don't have the energy for it ... maybe when Matt moves? At least that way we won't always have the light on in the next room with the TV flickering all night never knowing if he's up or asleep and it gives me the creeps to have one of the kids in the next room potentially listening to what we are doing.

On an unrelated note, this house seems to be constantly dirty, it's like the 4th road bridge and no amount of me cleaning seems to be able to keep up with it. The cats both have fleas and last night we had to do the tablets, spray the house which is sending my allergies silly but it has to be done. There was a spider walking across the worktop first thing this morning. Spiders don't bother me so much but somehow, seeing it there made it feel dirty and the flies, I hate flies because they lead to maggots and I hate those with a passion. I could swear I have cleaned every door in the house yet still, when I look, it appears some of them have had coffee sprayed on them overnight.

Ahhh, just thinking about fleas and I am scratching everywhere and there is nothing there.

I bet you are scratching now too?

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