Steve from England

  James, if you read this, read ALL of it. I find it annoying that Josh’s birthday could be being built up as nothing more than a publicity stunt by James. I can see where it could be going … the scenario: James makes some vague attempts to arrange something to see Josh on his birthday. If he gets to see him then there will be photo’s on Facebook with messages stating what an amazing baby he is and the implication that James is, by connection, an amazing dad, all his mates and family in Kent are happy. Or, as an alternative, Daisy and Sean have other plans for Josh’s birthday in which case, all over Facebook are messages from James saying how evil we are down here stopping a dad from seeing his son, on his birthday of all days. The result is, either way he convinces the people he knows that he is either a great dad or a victim. What has he done so far to get to see Josh? He has telephoned another family member up here to ask what is happening on Josh’s birthday. He has teleph...

  James, if you read this, read ALL of it. I find it annoying that Josh’s birthday could be being built up as nothing more than a publicity stunt by James. I can see where it could be going … the scenario: James makes some vague attempts to arrange something to see Josh on his birthday. If he gets to see him then there will be photo’s on Facebook with messages stating what an amazing baby he is and the implication that James is, by connection, an amazing dad, all his mates and family in Kent are happy. Or, as an alternative, Daisy and Sean have other plans for Josh’s birthday in which case, all over Facebook are messages from James saying how evil we are down here stopping a dad from seeing his son, on his birthday of all days. The result is, either way he convinces the people he knows that he is either a great dad or a victim. What has he done so far to get to see Josh? He has telephoned another family member up here to ask what is happening on Josh’s birthday. He has teleph...

It felt quite weak when I was there the other day and I’d have been shocked if it had made it but I hoped. Sadly, it wasn’t to be  :-( Huge thanks to Pete  & Emily for thinking about us x

It felt quite weak when I was there the other day and I’d have been shocked if it had made it but I hoped. Sadly, it wasn’t to be  :-( Huge thanks to Pete  & Emily for thinking about us x

Quite a few people get my blog sent in an email anyway but, for any who have just recently joined I use this for a few different reasons. I can get things out of my system here that are spinning around in my head. That means, sometimes I write things I’d not always say. Try never to take it personally. Sometimes I choose to be creative, so, don’t expect too much of that! Mostly it is ponderings, random thoughts I’d like to share with someone but, no one around me is up to the task of communicating with me so, effectively, I am talking it through with myself (lock me up now) Quite a lot I am just touching base with friends, letting them know the current state of play at this mad house! Enjoy!

Quite a few people get my blog sent in an email anyway but, for any who have just recently joined I use this for a few different reasons. I can get things out of my system here that are spinning around in my head. That means, sometimes I write things I’d not always say. Try never to take it personally. Sometimes I choose to be creative, so, don’t expect too much of that! Mostly it is ponderings, random thoughts I’d like to share with someone but, no one around me is up to the task of communicating with me so, effectively, I am talking it through with myself (lock me up now) Quite a lot I am just touching base with friends, letting them know the current state of play at this mad house! Enjoy!

One of the things I do in life is to try and help people have better lives. Not change them in a way they don’t want to change but to help them change to be the person they tell me they want to be. The trouble with this is … I am wondering if it is actually possible to change everyone who asks me for help? I invest a lot of emotion and energy into helping but, quite often, that investment doesn’t pay off. The person slips back into the way they used to be and are no more happy than they were when they first came to me for help. Am I, in effect, just not up to the job? Do I need to accept that for every success story, and there are many, that there will be significant failures? With many that I help, the pattern is as follows … they approach me almost from nowhere, I help them and, with their issues sorted and on the right path, they disappear again. I just have to be happy that I have managed to make a difference. I don’t get anything more from the experience. This has been the c...

One of the things I do in life is to try and help people have better lives. Not change them in a way they don’t want to change but to help them change to be the person they tell me they want to be. The trouble with this is … I am wondering if it is actually possible to change everyone who asks me for help? I invest a lot of emotion and energy into helping but, quite often, that investment doesn’t pay off. The person slips back into the way they used to be and are no more happy than they were when they first came to me for help. Am I, in effect, just not up to the job? Do I need to accept that for every success story, and there are many, that there will be significant failures? With many that I help, the pattern is as follows … they approach me almost from nowhere, I help them and, with their issues sorted and on the right path, they disappear again. I just have to be happy that I have managed to make a difference. I don’t get anything more from the experience. This has been the c...

Just in case anyone reads this who doesn’t fully understand the situation. Only Daisy is in charge of what does and doesn’t happen with Josh. She has residency and she is the parent here with parental responsibility. I am only the granddad. I am very proud of that title but I do not have any choice over any decisions Daisy makes with regard to Josh and neither does anyone else in the family. I can certainly give my opinion to anyone, if asked, but that’s as far as it goes. I am not and don’t want to be in a position where I have to tell anyone what they should or will do. I very much like being a grandparent. I have done the dad thing. If I can suggest anything it is this, can all issues relating to parenting be relayed to parents. Any non parenting things, I am happy to talk about. Anyone wants to contact me to have a moan, to talk to someone else, pass a message on, don’t go there! Obviously this would be mainly directed at James but, it equally applies to anyone else thinkin...

Just in case anyone reads this who doesn’t fully understand the situation. Only Daisy is in charge of what does and doesn’t happen with Josh. She has residency and she is the parent here with parental responsibility. I am only the granddad. I am very proud of that title but I do not have any choice over any decisions Daisy makes with regard to Josh and neither does anyone else in the family. I can certainly give my opinion to anyone, if asked, but that’s as far as it goes. I am not and don’t want to be in a position where I have to tell anyone what they should or will do. I very much like being a grandparent. I have done the dad thing. If I can suggest anything it is this, can all issues relating to parenting be relayed to parents. Any non parenting things, I am happy to talk about. Anyone wants to contact me to have a moan, to talk to someone else, pass a message on, don’t go there! Obviously this would be mainly directed at James but, it equally applies to anyone else thinkin...

I never got to see the 3D version on the first run so was really happy to go see it this time around. It really was worth the wait. To be honest, I didn’t notice that many new scenes, maybe that is because they were not ‘new’ at all but rather removed from the original edit but were always meant to be there and, as such, just ‘fit’ Someone tried to call me earlier, I couldn’t answer as I was driving but it just seemed odd they’d call out of the blue and not leave a message. I can’t imagine it was to say anything nice, it has not been that for quite some time now. A reasonably quiet evening in tonight and, hopefully, a lay in tomorrow but then, I have said that before!

I never got to see the 3D version on the first run so was really happy to go see it this time around. It really was worth the wait. To be honest, I didn’t notice that many new scenes, maybe that is because they were not ‘new’ at all but rather removed from the original edit but were always meant to be there and, as such, just ‘fit’ Someone tried to call me earlier, I couldn’t answer as I was driving but it just seemed odd they’d call out of the blue and not leave a message. I can’t imagine it was to say anything nice, it has not been that for quite some time now. A reasonably quiet evening in tonight and, hopefully, a lay in tomorrow but then, I have said that before!

I took on a tiny little project to create a website, provide a window on the interweb, that was all it was going to be, a little site, a bit of fun … NOW, it’s thehub of the place, I am working quite a lot nearly every day. I don’t mind, to an extend, I enjoy it but, at the same time, I don’t know where I am going with it. As a job it would be quite highly paid, as a volunteer position, it looks OK on a CV but, I am fast approaching 50, just how good is my CV going to be?

I took on a tiny little project to create a website, provide a window on the interweb, that was all it was going to be, a little site, a bit of fun … NOW, it’s thehub of the place, I am working quite a lot nearly every day. I don’t mind, to an extend, I enjoy it but, at the same time, I don’t know where I am going with it. As a job it would be quite highly paid, as a volunteer position, it looks OK on a CV but, I am fast approaching 50, just how good is my CV going to be?

I guess it’s been dropping me hints for months but, finally, one of my back up discs has failed. It’s all well and good having loads of space but then I have to go get sensible and duplicate all my user files so, if a drive dies, I am in panic mode in case another one goes and I start to lose data … not good!

I guess it’s been dropping me hints for months but, finally, one of my back up discs has failed. It’s all well and good having loads of space but then I have to go get sensible and duplicate all my user files so, if a drive dies, I am in panic mode in case another one goes and I start to lose data … not good!

If anyone wants to see a short clip of Josh walking, join me on Facebook or on Youtube! Facebook YouTube

If anyone wants to see a short clip of Josh walking, join me on Facebook or on Youtube! Facebook YouTube

Josh has started walking now! Just a few steps but he’s got the idea so there is no going back. He has been standing on his own for some time and loves doing that so I reckon he’ll be running by Christmas! Now the hard work really starts for Sean and Daisy, daddy and mummy are going to have to be thinking baby all the time now! Oh how I love being a grandparent! Our little Imogen loves her bourbon biscuits! She makes a right mess, it’s wonderful to be a baby.

Josh has started walking now! Just a few steps but he’s got the idea so there is no going back. He has been standing on his own for some time and loves doing that so I reckon he’ll be running by Christmas! Now the hard work really starts for Sean and Daisy, daddy and mummy are going to have to be thinking baby all the time now! Oh how I love being a grandparent! Our little Imogen loves her bourbon biscuits! She makes a right mess, it’s wonderful to be a baby.

I remember my maths teacher telling me how long I had left at school and to do maths, he said if we didn't worry about sleeping that in a little over a few days we'd be finished and, it seemed to me, that school would never end. I can grab that feeling now as though nothing new would ever happen in my life and always I'd be just a school kid. Well, that was a while back now, the late 70's and, yes, we were in colour back then! I laugh because even years after leaving it was still obvious I'd not yet earned my adult wings, that didn't happen until I was early 20's when the world seemed to finally accept I qualified as an equal! Take my advice though, it doesn't matter what you do in life just as long as you are always true to yourself. Don't try to be what others want or what you think they expect, be the best you can be for you. If you can possibly avoid it, never forget being a kid is fun. I don't mean a teen getting pissed etc, I mean, a ge...

I remember my maths teacher telling me how long I had left at school and to do maths, he said if we didn't worry about sleeping that in a little over a few days we'd be finished and, it seemed to me, that school would never end. I can grab that feeling now as though nothing new would ever happen in my life and always I'd be just a school kid. Well, that was a while back now, the late 70's and, yes, we were in colour back then! I laugh because even years after leaving it was still obvious I'd not yet earned my adult wings, that didn't happen until I was early 20's when the world seemed to finally accept I qualified as an equal! Take my advice though, it doesn't matter what you do in life just as long as you are always true to yourself. Don't try to be what others want or what you think they expect, be the best you can be for you. If you can possibly avoid it, never forget being a kid is fun. I don't mean a teen getting pissed etc, I mean, a ge...

Why are there two types of Christians? The ones I would trust with my life because I know they follow the meaning of the bible and the other bunch of liars and cheats who put all their wrong doing down to the will of God? Cannot church's filter the fake Christians out or, are the church's they go to just the same? I really just don't know and it is what is totally turning me off religion. I just seem to have too much experience of the latter and the harm they do to others in the name of God who seems to be able to forgive them for all sort of horrible things. The former I love to pieces. I can spend my life around their love and peace, it is my shared view of religion. The technicalities of what is meant to have happened 2000 years ago or not, it is that ‘they’ understand the point of it. It is not so that the words can be taking out of context or too literally or interpreted to mean something else, it is that this thing was meant to have happened and with many selfless a...

Why are there two types of Christians? The ones I would trust with my life because I know they follow the meaning of the bible and the other bunch of liars and cheats who put all their wrong doing down to the will of God? Cannot church's filter the fake Christians out or, are the church's they go to just the same? I really just don't know and it is what is totally turning me off religion. I just seem to have too much experience of the latter and the harm they do to others in the name of God who seems to be able to forgive them for all sort of horrible things. The former I love to pieces. I can spend my life around their love and peace, it is my shared view of religion. The technicalities of what is meant to have happened 2000 years ago or not, it is that ‘they’ understand the point of it. It is not so that the words can be taking out of context or too literally or interpreted to mean something else, it is that this thing was meant to have happened and with many selfless a...

I totally despise lies and, by definition, liars. Just recently someone posted a very public outburst against me and my family, just about everything that person quoted as ‘fact’ could absolutely be countered with photographic or video evidence. What this means is, either they lied in their statement or, over a period of very many months they continually lied and most convincingly too. There was a statement of how one particular person had been hated for over a year and, yet, in a video not very long ago, that same person was stated in front of witnesses on video to be amazing and all manner of wonderful things. I feel terribly sorry for that person, they just spend their life running from one set of bad lies to another, it is amazing they would find anyone who believed a single word they said any more. This person feeds of others, plays with their emotions, saps them for whatever they can get and then, before they take any form of responsibility, they run away and on to the next p...

I totally despise lies and, by definition, liars. Just recently someone posted a very public outburst against me and my family, just about everything that person quoted as ‘fact’ could absolutely be countered with photographic or video evidence. What this means is, either they lied in their statement or, over a period of very many months they continually lied and most convincingly too. There was a statement of how one particular person had been hated for over a year and, yet, in a video not very long ago, that same person was stated in front of witnesses on video to be amazing and all manner of wonderful things. I feel terribly sorry for that person, they just spend their life running from one set of bad lies to another, it is amazing they would find anyone who believed a single word they said any more. This person feeds of others, plays with their emotions, saps them for whatever they can get and then, before they take any form of responsibility, they run away and on to the next p...

Finally … it took time but, finally not my problem. I hope ‘God’ has better luck … only a matter of time before he’s called a dick head as well I suspect!

Finally … it took time but, finally not my problem. I hope ‘God’ has better luck … only a matter of time before he’s called a dick head as well I suspect!

The movie I made in 2004 for my USA trip. Boy I could do with a break like that now. Yes, there were lonely times with no one around on the Florida part but to be able to be totally selfish and get to know me for just a short while, I needed that then as I need it now. I feel emotionally exhausted and, even saying that, I feel guilty! I do love being me but, it comes with a price tag and I don’t mean the money!

The movie I made in 2004 for my USA trip. Boy I could do with a break like that now. Yes, there were lonely times with no one around on the Florida part but to be able to be totally selfish and get to know me for just a short while, I needed that then as I need it now. I feel emotionally exhausted and, even saying that, I feel guilty! I do love being me but, it comes with a price tag and I don’t mean the money!

I am starting to get repaid the thousands of pounds I am owed so I can stop panicking about paying my bills! Am nervous about tomorrow though, I have an important meeting and I have no agenda for it so I have had to prepare for several possibilities! A lovely Shepherds Pie to eat tonight. Randomly chucked in here but, I miss my mum and I miss Tony.

I am starting to get repaid the thousands of pounds I am owed so I can stop panicking about paying my bills! Am nervous about tomorrow though, I have an important meeting and I have no agenda for it so I have had to prepare for several possibilities! A lovely Shepherds Pie to eat tonight. Randomly chucked in here but, I miss my mum and I miss Tony.

Probably been done already: I feel like the Berlin wall, everyone wants a piece of me and I am always being knocked down! Maybe this is why people tell me I am a brick!

Probably been done already: I feel like the Berlin wall, everyone wants a piece of me and I am always being knocked down! Maybe this is why people tell me I am a brick!

I did have a lovely day in Southend today. It was great to be out with the family and see Josh’s face trying new things. It was marred by some texts from someone having a go at me for something, actually, that really hurt more than I think they have any comprehension. Later, I also found out that someone had lied to me big time, the sort of lie which changes the entire meaning of everything I thought was true and worth working for. I am not going into details here, not the right place and no one else’s business but, I know and that person will know, that’s good enough for me. I have managed to find someone keen enough to take over as Zoey’s personal assistant, very pleased to have found someone so quickly and I so hope they will rise to the challenge and make a real go of it. I think it will be good for him and for Zoey. Now I have to plan the my brain around Javis not being part of our lives, I am not sure how long it is going to take to get used to that concept? Javis has been ...

I did have a lovely day in Southend today. It was great to be out with the family and see Josh’s face trying new things. It was marred by some texts from someone having a go at me for something, actually, that really hurt more than I think they have any comprehension. Later, I also found out that someone had lied to me big time, the sort of lie which changes the entire meaning of everything I thought was true and worth working for. I am not going into details here, not the right place and no one else’s business but, I know and that person will know, that’s good enough for me. I have managed to find someone keen enough to take over as Zoey’s personal assistant, very pleased to have found someone so quickly and I so hope they will rise to the challenge and make a real go of it. I think it will be good for him and for Zoey. Now I have to plan the my brain around Javis not being part of our lives, I am not sure how long it is going to take to get used to that concept? Javis has been ...

First, actually, no particular order … I hurt, my joints ache, I feel stupid and frustrated by it. My emotions are all over the place. Just when I think I have a grip on something and life is sorted, another wave of issues starts. That’s really frustrating and exhausting, even nice things are becoming too stressful. The uncertainties if life in connection with those around me right now is driving me nuts. I need to be able to trust all the people in my life and I simply can’t. Because I can’t I am stuck, I have never been able to be with liars, help them or like them. I feel it as low as it is possible to go to lie to someone we say we care for. It’s too many people and grrrr! I don’t like what this government are doing. I feel that we are heading almost down the Hitler route. The government seems intent on ‘blaming’ parts of society, and those least connected to themselves, for the current state of the country. It is putting pressure on me as my future is looking very uncertain ...

First, actually, no particular order … I hurt, my joints ache, I feel stupid and frustrated by it. My emotions are all over the place. Just when I think I have a grip on something and life is sorted, another wave of issues starts. That’s really frustrating and exhausting, even nice things are becoming too stressful. The uncertainties if life in connection with those around me right now is driving me nuts. I need to be able to trust all the people in my life and I simply can’t. Because I can’t I am stuck, I have never been able to be with liars, help them or like them. I feel it as low as it is possible to go to lie to someone we say we care for. It’s too many people and grrrr! I don’t like what this government are doing. I feel that we are heading almost down the Hitler route. The government seems intent on ‘blaming’ parts of society, and those least connected to themselves, for the current state of the country. It is putting pressure on me as my future is looking very uncertain ...