Skip to main content

I think, just maybe …

One last chance for the one who feels the need to blame me for everything and swear at me and I really do mean … just the ONE last chance. I don’t want or need it, I have very little to gain from helping out in any way and, it may be better for most concerned, for all I know, if I just stepped away and allowed others to do what they are just gonna do, see what happens.

 

Got the chance for some quality time with Deej earlier, enjoyed that … about time too.

 

You know what, I actually said a big fat no to someone too … someone asked me to do them a favour and I thought, you know what, this is my time and Deej’s time. I already help enough people, this is one too many. I am looking to shed trouble, not add to it so, I quite coldly just said, sorry, can’t do that for you, I have things I want to do for me instead. Now, how about that then? Can anyone remember the last time I did that and it really felt good too.

 

Has everyone seen the latest video of Josh yet?

 

 

There you go, all in the blog just in case you missed it …. He’s changed so much, has even started a proper little giggle now.

 

Got to see Immy earlier but missed out on a hold, no matter, they are over here Saturday.

 

Tomorrow, well, technically today, is Jermaine’s 23rd birthday, how can that be possible? It seems hardly any time at all since the day he was born which I still remember very clearly. I’d got so used to false alarms over the preceding two weeks, when I met Kris (Lorna as she was then) at her mums shop and she said she was in labour, I wasn’t phased at all. Even when we got to the hospital around 6pm I didn’t think anything was going to happen. But, sure enough it did and he was born just before midnight. He was a long one alright. We used to lay him on a pillow to feed him and he was longer than that so this gives some idea! He was lovely though, a beautiful little baby.

He was OK until about 11 months, around the time the picture was taken with his Great-Nan there. After that he just seemed to go backwards. He still sort of progressed but it was probably about one month development each year. He may have got to somewhere approaching a three-year-old at one point but has gone backward these past few years and is now only functioning at around 18 months to 2 years. He has several seizures each week and requires 4 injections a day for his type 1 diabetes.

 

It is such a horrible feeling of loss. I remember a much happier little boy. Even when he was 8 or 9 he was fun to be with and was able to play simple games. Since the diabetes kicked off when he was around 12, everything changed. He can be really violent and verbally abusive now. Communication is really difficult and he shows little appreciation for much in life. I don’t know, not really, if he likes his life at all or if he comprehends what it means to enjoy life.

I shall always love him, I’ll never see him without seeing that adorable little boy and remembering the person he was. Part of it is still there somewhere. Now and then we get a little glimpse of it. Love you to bits Jermaine.

Have not used the above feature before, hope it works

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

You Bloody Idiot

I had a really enjoyable time in Meltham with Stan and Pete, even that walk against the wind up the pub on Saturday evening in a blizzard was fun. On the way there I thought it’d be fun to take some pictures of the car in the snow. I had not realised just how windy it was, I seriously thought my door was stuck when I tried to open it but it was just being pressurised by the forces outside. I am lucky really the wind had not been behind me else the door would have been ripped off. On the way back on Sunday I paid a visit to Sue in Sheffield. I like Sue and she is a great conversationalist. The journey was not without incident as the satnav kept failing and crashing and just became useless. I eventually tracked the problem down to the loudspeaker connection for the mount and once I’d removed that it was stable and guided me well to Sue’s door. I am really happy to report that the steroid injection I had last week as helped ease my pain. I still have the pain but it is not restricting me ...
Read more

Budget Day

So, we have the ‘Let’s buy a whole host of gullible voters day’ with George Osborne. No doubt we’ll be told how employment is rising, how the deficit is falling, how we’re all so much better off now than we were (compared to what?). We’ll be told that there are still tough times ahead but that only a Conservative government can steer us through them. It will be pointed out how inflation remains low, how not raising duty on fuel has helped everyone as is seen by the current lower prices at the pumps (it’s going up again George). In short, I should listen to this budget later and decide to vote Conservative in May but, I won’t. Labour certainly did nothing to avoid the mess the country got in but they didn’t cause it. They made the mistake of trying to be too conservative, allowing high finance the freedom to cause a catastrophic cock up for which they took zero responsibility. They made the mistake of allowing Gordon Brown to take the job of Prime Minister, one for which he is totally...
2 comments
Read more

There are some funny people in this world!

Earlier on this year someone added me on Facebook. Quite soon she was adding many people I knew. We were starting to wonder who this was as there was so little on her profile. To be on the safe side and, suspecting it may be someone pretending to be someone else, I was careful what I wrote to them. Eventually, it did become very obvious it was someone faking a profile. I challenged them to stay if they wanted but, today they deleted the profile. I have never done anything to upset this person, I just exist. She added me and my family just to take the piss out of us and to try and get extra ammunition to use against my friends, it is all rather sad. Speaking of sad … Look, I fully understand that James has issues, what they are, I don’t have a clue but he has them and it is for Daisy and him to sort out. I think Daisy would have liked to sort it out between them but, it seems, they are going to have to take the legal route. I totally get all that. I don’t like it but – such is life....
Post a Comment
Read more