Skip to main content

Tony

Last night I took the kids to McDonalds at Sixfields. Just a normal trip, well, normal except for me not being able to eat anything. Well, it soon turned out to be far less than normal when I pulled into the cinema car park where I normally leave the car. Sitting on the corner was a red Volvo estate car, an ‘E’ reg and suddenly the gravity of what Robin had told me about Tony struck home and I was totally gone, weeping like a baby. Not even sure how I managed to park the car I was crying so much. Matt was amazing, he lent over and just hugged me and Daisy stroked my hair … when did I deserve such great kids? Anyway, I gave up trying to stop myself and just sat there weeping in McDonalds, I considered I had the right.

Tony is one of my closest friends and I probably owe him so much more than any other for the way he turned my life around.

We met in the summer of 1998, he was the first openly gay friend I had, well, I mean ‘real’ friend and not just an acquaintance. He was kind to me, he was understanding and so gentle. I was struck by just how ageless he was. I don’t know if I knew his age at the time but it certainly didn’t enter my mind, he was Tony, my friend right from the start.

He introduced me to so many things I had not done before, some I liked, others I didn’t but he made me not afraid to try new things for the first time in my life and as the years of knowing him passed my confidence grew and I became the person I always wanted to be.

To my eternal gratitude he introduced me to some people I am also proud to call my friends, guys I know now I would never have known had it not been for Tony and I know his strength and personality have likewise helped so many others, that’s the kind of guy Tony is.

I am not going to pretend we have not had our moments of falling out and I am sure there are things I have done that have totally annoyed Tony as much as those that he has done that annoyed me but, when there is as much love as there is from me to him then it is easy to forgive, the good always outweighs the bad.

If he has faults I would list the top two as smoking too much and not showing or sharing his feelings though I can understand and respect both.

What I really cannot accept is that there will ever be a time when he won’t be around.

To be honest, I am not sure if there is an after life or not but if all it is could be the memory of us that our friends have and pass on, it is going to be an awful long time before Tony is not around, we shall be thinking of him and, more important, loving him long after he leaves us. I shall always love him and so will my children, they too will miss him terribly. Forever when someone asks … ‘do you fancy a coffee?’ I shall think of Tony as that is always his way of saying, I need a ciggie or a break, lets compromise!

Tony, I love you so much and am so glad that tears won’t smudge the text on this screen.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

You Bloody Idiot

I had a really enjoyable time in Meltham with Stan and Pete, even that walk against the wind up the pub on Saturday evening in a blizzard was fun. On the way there I thought it’d be fun to take some pictures of the car in the snow. I had not realised just how windy it was, I seriously thought my door was stuck when I tried to open it but it was just being pressurised by the forces outside. I am lucky really the wind had not been behind me else the door would have been ripped off. On the way back on Sunday I paid a visit to Sue in Sheffield. I like Sue and she is a great conversationalist. The journey was not without incident as the satnav kept failing and crashing and just became useless. I eventually tracked the problem down to the loudspeaker connection for the mount and once I’d removed that it was stable and guided me well to Sue’s door. I am really happy to report that the steroid injection I had last week as helped ease my pain. I still have the pain but it is not restricting me ...
Read more

2 Weeks in

Amazing as it seems I am two weeks through my visit here. Some might be getting a little confused about why I am here. There is only one important reason and that is to be with Dennis. This isn’t a vacation to me, it’s just about having to travel to the Philippines because it is where Dennis happens to be. I’m still in very regular contact with home dealing with daily issues, the council, social services and so on. I am geographically away from it but technically still connected. Obviously it’s cool to wander into Manila and see the place, travel in a Jeepney and so on. Wandering around the malls is fun but it is who I am with rather than where I am that matters most to me. Highlights for me, apart from every second I spend with Dennis have to be meeting family and friends.         Veronica and her family and Imee of course who has kept me entertained for hours with conversation about anything and everything     Ireneo too tries real hard wit...
Post a Comment
Read more

Not a good day

Today is a very emotional one for me. I have no idea why that would be the case but apparently it is. For a day that had nothing pre-arranged this one has turned out quite busy. First, I agreed to take Matt for breakfast though I wasn't really hungry. He was being quite argumentative in the morning about some thing or other, I don't recall what exactly but some matter of politics where he was going to argue the toss whilst knowing little or nothing about it. But, even so, I was quite upbeat as Jermaine had gone to school on time ... no, scrub that, i was upbeat until I yet again had to tell Zoey to get her arse out of her room, downstairs, do her chores and get to school, that is when this day started to go downward. I spent way too much money on a new doorbell, true, we needed one but not one that cost nearly £50! This too has not helped. I went to see a garage that can fit parking sensors to my car, all well and good but they needed me to supply paint to match the circles up ...
Read more