I shared this philosophy of mine the other day with a friend and firmly believe if we all thought this way we could live happier, more fulfilled lives.All of us throughout life have ups and downs. Some of those are so huge we have real trouble with them. These life experiences are relative to the general level of experiences we have had. What might be devastating for one person is a minor blimp in the life of someone else but, to both, the impact of ‘their’ big one is life long.
Thinking of some examples:
- A harsh childhood with bullying and depression
- A relationship which went wrong
- A lost job
- An illness
- The death of someone special
- A bad accident
- Money worries
- Unexpected parenthood
- Being thrust into a Caring role
- Rejection
These and many more are life changers for many. Some might experience just one or two of these, others might experience them all. As it happens, I got the full list and then some and several of them many times over.
All or any of these can be devastating at the time but, what we do with them when they become memories defines us.
Do we wallow in self pity or hide away in an attempt to protect ourselves? Do we allow paranoia to settle in and consume us? Do we never take any chances ‘just in case’?
Well, no, I don’t think we should stop living to the full because of any of those. What we can do is accept that those experiences have defined us, made us who we are now but, who we want to be, that’s a choice. I would rather take a similar risk over and over because the theory was still correct than never take that chance again.
Of course, we’d be fools if we didn’t learn from the past but, only blame yourself for the things you actually had control over. If someone cheats on you then ‘they’ cheated on you, no one else. You cannot change them, that’s their personality to live with. If you allowed it to go on too long well, that you can change, next time, wake up and smell the coffee!
We cannot change the death of a loved one, we can only grow from it. Don’t dwell on what you’ve lost but celebrate what you learnt from them and use it. If you learnt to love then you know you can love, don’t run away from that, embrace it.
As people we’ve no choice but to keep moving forward, right until our last breath we can and should make choices. If we were sad when someone died then, make the last times with those special to you about the future, not the past. But, before we get to our death bed remember, we get one shot at this, make it count!
We are the sum of our experiences so, stop making excuses, go get some experiences. The more we do in life, the more we explore our abilities and desires the more we are better able to deal with the things life might throw at us. If we have negative experiences then, make sure your mind has some positive experiences to compensate.
Don’t throw the baby out with the bath water. No one can ever honestly say the entirety of a relationship was bad when it all goes wrong. There will have been good times so, don’t try to paint those black. Glory in those good times, they were real at the time, you felt it, you were happy, hold on to them.
In short, embrace your entire life, good or bad. Don’t be afraid to enjoy life to the full when it’s good and don’t let your life come to a stop when the shit hit the fan.
You cannot smile every day of your life, no one can do that and mean it. You can though smile about your life in the past and about the mystery of what isn’t yet written.
Life is one great adventure, don’t miss the boat!
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