Nearly August already

The amazing thing is, last time we were only half way through June!

OK, Sean has a job, Javis has moved back home again (14 July), Anne is still pregnant as is Daisy. We have a tank full of tropical fish now, two cold water fish, two hamsters, three rats, two cats and two snakes. Did I have the Seat Copa last time? Not sure, if not then, we do now.

The current MPG is 43, far better than the Renault.

I went back up to Suffolk again for work and relaxation, very enjoyable and restful it was too.

The meeting with Social Services went well and the social worker allowed a little extra to cover the amount I would have to contribute and encourage me to be constructive with the accounting to cover the costs. Also, with Zoey in mind, the DWP have decided that, despite the note from the doctor stating she was ‘fit for work’ that she really isn’t a suitable candidate for employment. Annoyingly though, they won’t increase her benefit level until September! That’s around £70 a week we won’t be getting for all that time.

Still enjoying my photography though I am not getting enough practise if I am entirely honest.

I became a Godfather for the second time to Trystan

Yesterday I went to visit Tony’s grave

I got weepy, like I always do. On the way back to the car though, his daughter Trish, who lives in Tony’s old cottage, popped out and invited me in. Made my day to be recognised and welcomed liked that. It has been 6 years now, a stupid amount of time.

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Budget Day

So, we have the ‘Let’s buy a whole host of gullible voters day’ with George Osborne. No doubt we’ll be told how employment is rising, how the deficit is falling, how we’re all so much better off now than we were (compared to what?). We’ll be told that there are still tough times ahead but that only a Conservative government can steer us through them. It will be pointed out how inflation remains low, how not raising duty on fuel has helped everyone as is seen by the current lower prices at the pumps (it’s going up again George). In short, I should listen to this budget later and decide to vote Conservative in May but, I won’t. Labour certainly did nothing to avoid the mess the country got in but they didn’t cause it. They made the mistake of trying to be too conservative, allowing high finance the freedom to cause a catastrophic cock up for which they took zero responsibility. They made the mistake of allowing Gordon Brown to take the job of Prime Minister, one for which he is totally...

Not a good day

Today is a very emotional one for me. I have no idea why that would be the case but apparently it is. For a day that had nothing pre-arranged this one has turned out quite busy. First, I agreed to take Matt for breakfast though I wasn't really hungry. He was being quite argumentative in the morning about some thing or other, I don't recall what exactly but some matter of politics where he was going to argue the toss whilst knowing little or nothing about it. But, even so, I was quite upbeat as Jermaine had gone to school on time ... no, scrub that, i was upbeat until I yet again had to tell Zoey to get her arse out of her room, downstairs, do her chores and get to school, that is when this day started to go downward. I spent way too much money on a new doorbell, true, we needed one but not one that cost nearly £50! This too has not helped. I went to see a garage that can fit parking sensors to my car, all well and good but they needed me to supply paint to match the circles up ...

Cognitive Behaviour Therapy

I am currently working through modules on Self Esteem. I can honestly say, it’s tough reading! So much does relate to me it hurts to read it. Already I am wishing for answers that I need. It’s like, I know and understand what I am reading and acknowledge it as a fair representation of my current state but, where is the hug? The reassurance that it’s all going to be OK? The issue, for me, of doing this sort of thing is that it highlights possibly the greatest issue I have, I am alone. Someone special to hug up to, to talk to when I need it, well, I don’t have anyone. Perhaps that is a good thing because, right now, I’d probably question all their motives, what is their ‘real’ agenda? Even knowing where those feelings come from, where they started and so on is not yet helping me to overcome them. I’ve become somewhat insecure and full of self doubt, all negative stuff. Frustratingly, I can damn well see it too, it’s like there are two of me, am sure someone would say that’s because I a...

Steve from England

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