Skip to main content

Read all about it

CAR CHARGE ESTIMATION LESS THAN EXPECTED

There was a phone call received by this office earlier on today by someone we shall call 'the man' confirming rumours that the coils have had it and the plugs are not sparking. It is estimated that the company loss will be around £400 though analysts suspect this figure may rise.

THEATRE VISIT NEARLY MISSED, SHOCK REVELATION

In a shock move today the stage play 'Witches of Eastwick' jumped forward one day resulting in a near miss. It was previously reported that the play would present itself on Friday but a source inside the theatre quoted that the tickets had been miss read by one Rupert Hontong Brewup and were indeed valid for Thursday. It was shear luck the error was discovered by Dame Stephanie Willibums of Northamberton in time for the evenings performance.

COMPUTER GLITCH WASTES HOURS

Technicians today discovered a glitch in the main frame of the company hyper text mark up language which caused erroneous results when views from an optical interface. After several hours the problem was resolved and passengers on the 16:12 to Putney continued their journey as usual.

RETIRED COMPUTER TECHNICIAN LEARNS OF INTERNET CONFUSION

A retired man of Bristols-upon-Tits found himself marooned earlier on today when a website known as 'face book' transformed itelf into an alien artifact and became unusable to normal humans. He was said earlier to be in a confused but stable condition In Holby General awaiting further reports.

NORTHUMPERTDINKGOGOGOCK MAN SUFFERS DROUGHT

A man was reported just moments ago in breaking news to be suffering a drought in his glass of brandy and lemondade. Rescuers are on the scene in the hope of an early rescue.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

You Bloody Idiot

I had a really enjoyable time in Meltham with Stan and Pete, even that walk against the wind up the pub on Saturday evening in a blizzard was fun. On the way there I thought it’d be fun to take some pictures of the car in the snow. I had not realised just how windy it was, I seriously thought my door was stuck when I tried to open it but it was just being pressurised by the forces outside. I am lucky really the wind had not been behind me else the door would have been ripped off. On the way back on Sunday I paid a visit to Sue in Sheffield. I like Sue and she is a great conversationalist. The journey was not without incident as the satnav kept failing and crashing and just became useless. I eventually tracked the problem down to the loudspeaker connection for the mount and once I’d removed that it was stable and guided me well to Sue’s door. I am really happy to report that the steroid injection I had last week as helped ease my pain. I still have the pain but it is not restricting me ...
Read more

Budget Day

So, we have the ‘Let’s buy a whole host of gullible voters day’ with George Osborne. No doubt we’ll be told how employment is rising, how the deficit is falling, how we’re all so much better off now than we were (compared to what?). We’ll be told that there are still tough times ahead but that only a Conservative government can steer us through them. It will be pointed out how inflation remains low, how not raising duty on fuel has helped everyone as is seen by the current lower prices at the pumps (it’s going up again George). In short, I should listen to this budget later and decide to vote Conservative in May but, I won’t. Labour certainly did nothing to avoid the mess the country got in but they didn’t cause it. They made the mistake of trying to be too conservative, allowing high finance the freedom to cause a catastrophic cock up for which they took zero responsibility. They made the mistake of allowing Gordon Brown to take the job of Prime Minister, one for which he is totally...
2 comments
Read more

There are some funny people in this world!

Earlier on this year someone added me on Facebook. Quite soon she was adding many people I knew. We were starting to wonder who this was as there was so little on her profile. To be on the safe side and, suspecting it may be someone pretending to be someone else, I was careful what I wrote to them. Eventually, it did become very obvious it was someone faking a profile. I challenged them to stay if they wanted but, today they deleted the profile. I have never done anything to upset this person, I just exist. She added me and my family just to take the piss out of us and to try and get extra ammunition to use against my friends, it is all rather sad. Speaking of sad … Look, I fully understand that James has issues, what they are, I don’t have a clue but he has them and it is for Daisy and him to sort out. I think Daisy would have liked to sort it out between them but, it seems, they are going to have to take the legal route. I totally get all that. I don’t like it but – such is life....
Post a Comment
Read more