Steve from England

Is the date Deej and me get 'married' at 2pm in town. As yet there are no plans for a bash afterwards, we may just have a party a few weeks later as we are hoping to get a honeymoon sorted and that may just mean disappearing the same evening. Being a Friday afternoon I am reckoning most will be working so probably just those who don't have anything better to do that day as much as we'd love to see everyone. Why July 10? Well, we met on that day what will be three years earlier. It also happens to be the day in 1986 that my mum died so it will be nice to balance the pain with the happiness and make it a generally happy time of year remembering.

Is the date Deej and me get 'married' at 2pm in town. As yet there are no plans for a bash afterwards, we may just have a party a few weeks later as we are hoping to get a honeymoon sorted and that may just mean disappearing the same evening. Being a Friday afternoon I am reckoning most will be working so probably just those who don't have anything better to do that day as much as we'd love to see everyone. Why July 10? Well, we met on that day what will be three years earlier. It also happens to be the day in 1986 that my mum died so it will be nice to balance the pain with the happiness and make it a generally happy time of year remembering.

Today is the first day I have felt well enough to go into work since the start of the month. I loved it, a great day, loads done, a nice change but boy has it taken the energy from me! I sometimes forget just how long it takes me to fully recover from illness ... the mind is desperate to get out there and do stuff yet the body doesn't want to know. Anyway, I managed it and am pleased about that. My eye is much improved. I still cannot see very well and my right eye still feels strained also but it is barely leaking any longer and tomorrow I may risk driving again as I am feeling that bit of cabin fever and dependency again that I don't like. Have plans with Robin to go to France next month for a few days and, though it may be hard work I know I will benefit from the mental break.

Today is the first day I have felt well enough to go into work since the start of the month. I loved it, a great day, loads done, a nice change but boy has it taken the energy from me! I sometimes forget just how long it takes me to fully recover from illness ... the mind is desperate to get out there and do stuff yet the body doesn't want to know. Anyway, I managed it and am pleased about that. My eye is much improved. I still cannot see very well and my right eye still feels strained also but it is barely leaking any longer and tomorrow I may risk driving again as I am feeling that bit of cabin fever and dependency again that I don't like. Have plans with Robin to go to France next month for a few days and, though it may be hard work I know I will benefit from the mental break.

Apparently it is Friday tomorrow, well, around 45 mins actually. Wot happened to this week? It would be fair to say it has been reasonably eventful or, at least, it feels like it has yet right now it is near impossible for me to think of anything I can write about it. Erm ... Nope, I got nothing ... Oh, it is white outside, we dumped the car on the grass earlier, looks OK now, will look real stupid when the snow has gone. No work this week, too tired Tuesday and too busy and closed today thanks to the white stuff (put your dirty thoughts away!)

Apparently it is Friday tomorrow, well, around 45 mins actually. Wot happened to this week? It would be fair to say it has been reasonably eventful or, at least, it feels like it has yet right now it is near impossible for me to think of anything I can write about it. Erm ... Nope, I got nothing ... Oh, it is white outside, we dumped the car on the grass earlier, looks OK now, will look real stupid when the snow has gone. No work this week, too tired Tuesday and too busy and closed today thanks to the white stuff (put your dirty thoughts away!)

Is what most people are and I enjoy choosing not to be. I am feeing better, illness still in e background, aches and pains but OK. The other day both Deej and me slipped on e mud outside Robin's. that was one of those really funny moments that happen to other people. Andy now officially lives here Once again I have more people than I have car space!

Is what most people are and I enjoy choosing not to be. I am feeing better, illness still in e background, aches and pains but OK. The other day both Deej and me slipped on e mud outside Robin's. that was one of those really funny moments that happen to other people. Andy now officially lives here Once again I have more people than I have car space!

I am on this course at the moment, indeed, it was the one I was also booked in for yesterday and which caused all the fuss from yesterday as well and is organised by 'Parents in Partnership'. The premise is that together, families of the disabled can bring about change both for themselves and for future generations. It is certainly a good way of thinking and will, I am certain, help achieve the aim. Annoyingly, borderline, frustratingly, there is where my positive viewpoint ends. My notes of the day are in the car so I am bound to leave something out here in my summary but I shall have made my point. Everything thus far has focused on the 'family'. Rarely has the word 'Carer' been used at all and I have read ahead to the further few sessions which are scheduled. The thrust seems to be for the 'family' to be the facilitators to bring about change for their disabled family member, to learn how to manipulate the system and ensure the full entitlement under ...

I am on this course at the moment, indeed, it was the one I was also booked in for yesterday and which caused all the fuss from yesterday as well and is organised by 'Parents in Partnership'. The premise is that together, families of the disabled can bring about change both for themselves and for future generations. It is certainly a good way of thinking and will, I am certain, help achieve the aim. Annoyingly, borderline, frustratingly, there is where my positive viewpoint ends. My notes of the day are in the car so I am bound to leave something out here in my summary but I shall have made my point. Everything thus far has focused on the 'family'. Rarely has the word 'Carer' been used at all and I have read ahead to the further few sessions which are scheduled. The thrust seems to be for the 'family' to be the facilitators to bring about change for their disabled family member, to learn how to manipulate the system and ensure the full entitlement under ...

It is strange how things work out, how one things leads to another and before we know it, we have a missing person report, people doing a search of the town, anxiety, panic and general confusion all whilst I was sitting oblivious. I made a mistake, I had this week arranged two training courses, the first was today and the other was a two day course starting (I thought) on Wednesday. Last week I mentioned to James where the course would be today, it was really only in St James around 1 1/2 miles from here. Thing is, the two day course actually started today and so they called home to ask where I was because they were expecting me. This set Deej off into a panic because clearly I never arrived where I was meant to this morning. People were called, Matt and Anne were brought around here, Daisy was dragged out of school and peeps were looking for me. My phone was getting 57 missed called and half a dozen voicemail messages and a few texts. This whilst I was busy on my course with the phone...

It is strange how things work out, how one things leads to another and before we know it, we have a missing person report, people doing a search of the town, anxiety, panic and general confusion all whilst I was sitting oblivious. I made a mistake, I had this week arranged two training courses, the first was today and the other was a two day course starting (I thought) on Wednesday. Last week I mentioned to James where the course would be today, it was really only in St James around 1 1/2 miles from here. Thing is, the two day course actually started today and so they called home to ask where I was because they were expecting me. This set Deej off into a panic because clearly I never arrived where I was meant to this morning. People were called, Matt and Anne were brought around here, Daisy was dragged out of school and peeps were looking for me. My phone was getting 57 missed called and half a dozen voicemail messages and a few texts. This whilst I was busy on my course with the phone...

I got myself a cold which is annoying. I am not ill, just a little snotty, shivery and sore and all of those I can live with for a few days! I have been ill before now, I know what influenza is and this isn't, end of. Have been trying to plan a holiday this week. Decided against risking a foreign holiday seeing as we have no legal right to take James out of the country and are relying on the good will of his parents, it actually just isn't worth the risk that they may suddenly refuse. We then opted for a UK holiday on a broads boat using the holiday vouchers we are entitled to thanks to use shopping at Tesco. All was going well until the company said how much deposit they wanted, right now, on a debit card ... £700! As I said to them, this is a recession and larger holiday companies than their's have gone tits up, why would I want to risk £700? They have not replied as yet. Another familiar face from Star Trek universe died recently, these things happen. A sign we are all g...

I got myself a cold which is annoying. I am not ill, just a little snotty, shivery and sore and all of those I can live with for a few days! I have been ill before now, I know what influenza is and this isn't, end of. Have been trying to plan a holiday this week. Decided against risking a foreign holiday seeing as we have no legal right to take James out of the country and are relying on the good will of his parents, it actually just isn't worth the risk that they may suddenly refuse. We then opted for a UK holiday on a broads boat using the holiday vouchers we are entitled to thanks to use shopping at Tesco. All was going well until the company said how much deposit they wanted, right now, on a debit card ... £700! As I said to them, this is a recession and larger holiday companies than their's have gone tits up, why would I want to risk £700? They have not replied as yet. Another familiar face from Star Trek universe died recently, these things happen. A sign we are all g...

There was a time when that was it, as complicated as it got and there were others to worry about periods beyond that. Indeed, to my young mind such moments in time beyond the here and now were incomprehensible. Someone beyond 25 was just so far removed from my understanding of life experiences as to be part of 'them', the 'everyone else' who wasn't young. Then I hit teens and boundaries became confused. In my mind I was still 7 dreaming of childish things and wanting to do nothing real and everything imagined. A part of me was feeling pulled into an adult world, one where I would not fit in and where I would be the outsider. The way others perceived me changed at this time to. I was expected to have an opinion on things I knew nothing about. I most certainly was, and this was clearly understood by the 'old' people, that I would contribute financially to the things to which I had grown accustomed to having others pay for. That little voice which wanted to be ...

There was a time when that was it, as complicated as it got and there were others to worry about periods beyond that. Indeed, to my young mind such moments in time beyond the here and now were incomprehensible. Someone beyond 25 was just so far removed from my understanding of life experiences as to be part of 'them', the 'everyone else' who wasn't young. Then I hit teens and boundaries became confused. In my mind I was still 7 dreaming of childish things and wanting to do nothing real and everything imagined. A part of me was feeling pulled into an adult world, one where I would not fit in and where I would be the outsider. The way others perceived me changed at this time to. I was expected to have an opinion on things I knew nothing about. I most certainly was, and this was clearly understood by the 'old' people, that I would contribute financially to the things to which I had grown accustomed to having others pay for. That little voice which wanted to be ...

I think it is important all year but especially this time of year to recall those who have either died or otherwise stepped out of our lives over the years. Any list I give is by no means comprehensive but more a sample of the special people I have known who are simply not around me any longer. This does not devalue those still close to me, I would hope they already know how deeply I care for them. Those which have died: I will have had 22 Christmas days without my mum 20 of them without my Nan Just a few now without Tony Those who have influenced or enriched my life or just gave me laughs: Simon, I often wonder what would have happened had 'things' not happened. Neil, my first real love and always with a space in my heart Martyn, he knows his reasons Paul, my friend from school who prefers the drink to his life Brian Crutchley who somehow could get me laughing with just a look Seb, my friend from France, I miss those Trek chats You know what, that list is in no particular orde...

I think it is important all year but especially this time of year to recall those who have either died or otherwise stepped out of our lives over the years. Any list I give is by no means comprehensive but more a sample of the special people I have known who are simply not around me any longer. This does not devalue those still close to me, I would hope they already know how deeply I care for them. Those which have died: I will have had 22 Christmas days without my mum 20 of them without my Nan Just a few now without Tony Those who have influenced or enriched my life or just gave me laughs: Simon, I often wonder what would have happened had 'things' not happened. Neil, my first real love and always with a space in my heart Martyn, he knows his reasons Paul, my friend from school who prefers the drink to his life Brian Crutchley who somehow could get me laughing with just a look Seb, my friend from France, I miss those Trek chats You know what, that list is in no particular orde...

An update. I know, it's been an age since I wrote anything but that's just the way I have been feeling the past few weeks, not really in a sharing mood with my life. On the negative side, social services are still arse holes and seem to be going out of their way to be awkward. I cannot say for certain what their motivation for this is, I suspect one of two things or possibly both. Saving money could well be the primary reason for their attitude but I also cannot rule out homophobia and sexism. The social worker, Rachel, has gone out of her way to support James mum in this regardless of evidence to the contrary with total disregard for the welfare of James, all women together and all that. Enough of the negatives ... on the plus side, Disney was really most excellent. There was some arguments and heated disagreements but they were as nothing compared to the fun we had there. The 'Tower of Terror' is awesome. It's different to the one in Florida but just as good. Crus...

An update. I know, it's been an age since I wrote anything but that's just the way I have been feeling the past few weeks, not really in a sharing mood with my life. On the negative side, social services are still arse holes and seem to be going out of their way to be awkward. I cannot say for certain what their motivation for this is, I suspect one of two things or possibly both. Saving money could well be the primary reason for their attitude but I also cannot rule out homophobia and sexism. The social worker, Rachel, has gone out of her way to support James mum in this regardless of evidence to the contrary with total disregard for the welfare of James, all women together and all that. Enough of the negatives ... on the plus side, Disney was really most excellent. There was some arguments and heated disagreements but they were as nothing compared to the fun we had there. The 'Tower of Terror' is awesome. It's different to the one in Florida but just as good. Crus...