I need of something positive

Sad to say, a public place like this is not where I am going to share every little detail especially when not every disaster only involves me so, this entry is a little cryptic.

The past several weeks and certainly the past few days have been difficult to say the least. Indeed, difficult is an understatement of the last few days. My emotional level is off the scale, coping is something I was doing last week, right now I am functioning on auto pilot.

Let me tell you what I can without saying too much … the visa for Dennis still hasn’t come through and he’s meant to come here next week, airline prices are rising daily and there is nothing I can do about that. We don’t even know if he’ll be accepted for a visa. There is nothing funny about it.

The household income has taken yet another nose dive, down another few hundred a month now. I’ve got to magic something out of thin air. I usually do so, I’ve got to have faith in myself whilst expecting my luck to totally run out at some point. It’s like being within touching distance of something amazing but having it repeatedly slip away.

Every cloud has a silver lining and I’ve got to believe that. The thing is, why is it that nothing in the life of my family can just go right without something far worse going wrong to compensate for it?

Hopefully my next entry will be more uplifting but, right now, I’ve got nothing except a lot of stuff I’ve got to bottle up.

Comments

You Bloody Idiot

I had a really enjoyable time in Meltham with Stan and Pete, even that walk against the wind up the pub on Saturday evening in a blizzard was fun. On the way there I thought it’d be fun to take some pictures of the car in the snow. I had not realised just how windy it was, I seriously thought my door was stuck when I tried to open it but it was just being pressurised by the forces outside. I am lucky really the wind had not been behind me else the door would have been ripped off. On the way back on Sunday I paid a visit to Sue in Sheffield. I like Sue and she is a great conversationalist. The journey was not without incident as the satnav kept failing and crashing and just became useless. I eventually tracked the problem down to the loudspeaker connection for the mount and once I’d removed that it was stable and guided me well to Sue’s door. I am really happy to report that the steroid injection I had last week as helped ease my pain. I still have the pain but it is not restricting me ...

2 Weeks in

Amazing as it seems I am two weeks through my visit here. Some might be getting a little confused about why I am here. There is only one important reason and that is to be with Dennis. This isn’t a vacation to me, it’s just about having to travel to the Philippines because it is where Dennis happens to be. I’m still in very regular contact with home dealing with daily issues, the council, social services and so on. I am geographically away from it but technically still connected. Obviously it’s cool to wander into Manila and see the place, travel in a Jeepney and so on. Wandering around the malls is fun but it is who I am with rather than where I am that matters most to me. Highlights for me, apart from every second I spend with Dennis have to be meeting family and friends. Veronica and her family and Imee of course who has kept me entertained for hours with conversation about anything and everything Ireneo too tries real hard wit...

Not a good day

Today is a very emotional one for me. I have no idea why that would be the case but apparently it is. For a day that had nothing pre-arranged this one has turned out quite busy. First, I agreed to take Matt for breakfast though I wasn't really hungry. He was being quite argumentative in the morning about some thing or other, I don't recall what exactly but some matter of politics where he was going to argue the toss whilst knowing little or nothing about it. But, even so, I was quite upbeat as Jermaine had gone to school on time ... no, scrub that, i was upbeat until I yet again had to tell Zoey to get her arse out of her room, downstairs, do her chores and get to school, that is when this day started to go downward. I spent way too much money on a new doorbell, true, we needed one but not one that cost nearly £50! This too has not helped. I went to see a garage that can fit parking sensors to my car, all well and good but they needed me to supply paint to match the circles up ...

Steve from England

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