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Loss of Identity

I believe this is the single greatest issue for carers.

They (we) stop being and individual and become someone’s Carer and little more than that. It’s almost worse than owning a dog! Invites dry up because of concerns the Carer might being the person they care for. The Carer doesn’t get a break because the person they care for is always there. No phone call is ever private, if they can read then nothing written or typed is private either.

Everything, and I mean everything, is about the person being cared for. Going out the house is a messy business, it needs to be well thought through. Actually, I am about to be interrupted again so will need to stop …

… life is like that. Grabbed moments in between intense moments of Caring. I am not even talking about hands on physical caring but more the complete lack of ‘self’ type of caring where the Carer has long since allowed themselves the luxury of putting themselves first because, even if they are doing something for themselves, they are always on the ready to get ‘back to work’ again.

It is just so incredible stressful especially for those who don’t get a break where someone qualified and capable takes over, I mean, a worry free break where they can feel comfortable not answering their phone!

To make it worse, the stress lowers the immune system so often the Carer feels quite poorly too. Again, they are avoided by many because few want to ‘get involved’.

Ironically, the Carer is often the first person others turn to because they know that the Carer has probably been there and already solved the problem so they are useful. Once they’ve been helped, they walk away again totally oblivious or uncaring toward the plight of their ‘rock’.

There are a great many pleasure but, to enjoy them the Carer needs to recharge batteries and there are very few charging points!

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