Skip to main content

Mini update

I’m gonna be honest, I am not coping well, I have not been coping well for quite some time. Right now my life, and I mean no disrespect to those I love but, my life feels horrible. I feel like, and it’s probably just because of how I am feeling, that, most of my friends just don’t want to know. I want to be able to do ordinary stuff, just going out to chill, drink, dance or whatever yet, in a way, I feel almost as though I am being looked after.

It’s really hard reading about one friend after another who goes out with ‘their’ mates having a great time doing this or that and yet, I don’t get an invite, I am not on the ‘A’ list or I am too old or too depressed or too whatever. I am trying to get older friends but they either don’t have time or don’t want to go out anywhere which leaves me with family and, obviously I love my family but, it’s not the same as being with non family friends.

I am just about remembering what going out and actually having fun is, it’s really been that long ago. Maybe it is time for me to just be old, sit in doors slowly rotting away waiting to fall apart. I’ll be 50 next year, I could potentially have another 40+ years of this, I don’t think so.

No idea what to do, I am on some dating sites, no one even looks at the profile apparently, it’s a good one, I can’t think of any way to make it better except lie. I really truly have no idea what to do, am feeling empty, one day to the next for everyone else. Am almost at the point now where I don’t want to do anything for me because then I can’t feel let down, disappointed or worse.

Sorry, this is just how I feel. In many ways I am incredibly lucky. This could all be in my head but, it feels real. A big empty bed, all to myself sums it up

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

You Bloody Idiot

I had a really enjoyable time in Meltham with Stan and Pete, even that walk against the wind up the pub on Saturday evening in a blizzard was fun. On the way there I thought it’d be fun to take some pictures of the car in the snow. I had not realised just how windy it was, I seriously thought my door was stuck when I tried to open it but it was just being pressurised by the forces outside. I am lucky really the wind had not been behind me else the door would have been ripped off. On the way back on Sunday I paid a visit to Sue in Sheffield. I like Sue and she is a great conversationalist. The journey was not without incident as the satnav kept failing and crashing and just became useless. I eventually tracked the problem down to the loudspeaker connection for the mount and once I’d removed that it was stable and guided me well to Sue’s door. I am really happy to report that the steroid injection I had last week as helped ease my pain. I still have the pain but it is not restricting me ...
Read more

Budget Day

So, we have the ‘Let’s buy a whole host of gullible voters day’ with George Osborne. No doubt we’ll be told how employment is rising, how the deficit is falling, how we’re all so much better off now than we were (compared to what?). We’ll be told that there are still tough times ahead but that only a Conservative government can steer us through them. It will be pointed out how inflation remains low, how not raising duty on fuel has helped everyone as is seen by the current lower prices at the pumps (it’s going up again George). In short, I should listen to this budget later and decide to vote Conservative in May but, I won’t. Labour certainly did nothing to avoid the mess the country got in but they didn’t cause it. They made the mistake of trying to be too conservative, allowing high finance the freedom to cause a catastrophic cock up for which they took zero responsibility. They made the mistake of allowing Gordon Brown to take the job of Prime Minister, one for which he is totally...
2 comments
Read more

There are some funny people in this world!

Earlier on this year someone added me on Facebook. Quite soon she was adding many people I knew. We were starting to wonder who this was as there was so little on her profile. To be on the safe side and, suspecting it may be someone pretending to be someone else, I was careful what I wrote to them. Eventually, it did become very obvious it was someone faking a profile. I challenged them to stay if they wanted but, today they deleted the profile. I have never done anything to upset this person, I just exist. She added me and my family just to take the piss out of us and to try and get extra ammunition to use against my friends, it is all rather sad. Speaking of sad … Look, I fully understand that James has issues, what they are, I don’t have a clue but he has them and it is for Daisy and him to sort out. I think Daisy would have liked to sort it out between them but, it seems, they are going to have to take the legal route. I totally get all that. I don’t like it but – such is life....
Post a Comment
Read more