Steve from England

As far as I can remember it started just after the end of 2008 and Billy had a birthday. For various other bits of 2009, see an earlier blog entry. So, rather than dwelling on a year which started good, went downhill in the middle, in the third quarter picked up, continued an upward trend and then dropped off toward the end … let me consider 2010. So, we are leaving the noughties and entering the tens, still doesn’t have a ring to it like my other decades, the 60’s, 70’s, 80’s & 90’s. Let’s face it, did the first part of a new millennium ever have a ring to it? The 1900’s had to wait until the 20’s before anyone mentioned it by decade. It was the war free decade of the Charleston and other things 20’s. But, that’s not important because we don’t yet got to the 2020’s. So, for 2010, what do I foresee? One, maybe two holidays for me and Deej, one at least for us as a family. A settled time financially if things work out OK. New friendships for certain. Josh’s a...

As far as I can remember it started just after the end of 2008 and Billy had a birthday. For various other bits of 2009, see an earlier blog entry. So, rather than dwelling on a year which started good, went downhill in the middle, in the third quarter picked up, continued an upward trend and then dropped off toward the end … let me consider 2010. So, we are leaving the noughties and entering the tens, still doesn’t have a ring to it like my other decades, the 60’s, 70’s, 80’s & 90’s. Let’s face it, did the first part of a new millennium ever have a ring to it? The 1900’s had to wait until the 20’s before anyone mentioned it by decade. It was the war free decade of the Charleston and other things 20’s. But, that’s not important because we don’t yet got to the 2020’s. So, for 2010, what do I foresee? One, maybe two holidays for me and Deej, one at least for us as a family. A settled time financially if things work out OK. New friendships for certain. Josh’s a...

On the last post was all wrong … accurate, as it happens, but, kinda proves where my mind is right now.

On the last post was all wrong … accurate, as it happens, but, kinda proves where my mind is right now.

It has been 17 years since I last felt as I do today and I don’t like it. What happens is that the pressure of life, being there for everyone else, being ‘me’ gets a little more than my brain can handle. 17 years ago, when this happened, it took two years to get over it. Just as before I have been forgetting things, can’t work out simple problems like basic maths, rudimentary spelling (I spelt that wrong the first time) and get so angry so quickly. I have a need to run away from myself which is, impossible. Recognising the signs is one thing, getting over it could be something else again. Last time I was totally ill equipped to deal with how I was feeling, I didn’t know what it was. This time I am better prepared. I know breathing exercises, … oh, that’s about it, bugger! What I know for sure is that, for a while, a few weeks maybe, I can’t have stress, I have to relax, give my brain the chance to recover and recharge. I do have to be selfish else I am not going to ...

It has been 17 years since I last felt as I do today and I don’t like it. What happens is that the pressure of life, being there for everyone else, being ‘me’ gets a little more than my brain can handle. 17 years ago, when this happened, it took two years to get over it. Just as before I have been forgetting things, can’t work out simple problems like basic maths, rudimentary spelling (I spelt that wrong the first time) and get so angry so quickly. I have a need to run away from myself which is, impossible. Recognising the signs is one thing, getting over it could be something else again. Last time I was totally ill equipped to deal with how I was feeling, I didn’t know what it was. This time I am better prepared. I know breathing exercises, … oh, that’s about it, bugger! What I know for sure is that, for a while, a few weeks maybe, I can’t have stress, I have to relax, give my brain the chance to recover and recharge. I do have to be selfish else I am not going to ...

To all those I know, a very merry Christmas. To those who should have been here (James), a special merry Christmas as I imagine (hope), being without Josh now is difficult. Let’s hope this is the last Christmas you or anyone else spend with the wrong people or on your own. There is so much love going on here it’s such a shame to have anyone miss out. Hugs to all x

To all those I know, a very merry Christmas. To those who should have been here (James), a special merry Christmas as I imagine (hope), being without Josh now is difficult. Let’s hope this is the last Christmas you or anyone else spend with the wrong people or on your own. There is so much love going on here it’s such a shame to have anyone miss out. Hugs to all x

My amazing new granddaughter! Met her for the first time this evening, she is so pretty and so small. Anne looks worn out and Matt isn’t far behind her. Clearly both Matt & Anne are going to be incredible parents, nice to see two young people taking on their roles in life and enjoying it … as it should be. Love to all 

My amazing new granddaughter! Met her for the first time this evening, she is so pretty and so small. Anne looks worn out and Matt isn’t far behind her. Clearly both Matt & Anne are going to be incredible parents, nice to see two young people taking on their roles in life and enjoying it … as it should be. Love to all 

Hmm, seems not so long ago it was lovely, hot and sunny outside and yet, here we are, just 3 sleeps short of December 25th and on the longest night of the year too. Am a little concerned we’ve not got enough for everyone this Christmas. I am reasonably certain we’ve spent the right amount, not so certain that it looks like we have. Why do I feel we have tucked something away somewhere and can’t find it? Amazing, just as I typed that we found one! I feel a little better now but still somewhat ‘tight’ on the gift front, I hope everyone understands. Christmas day I am sure shall be fun no matter how mad it is no doubt going to seem. Poor Anne is going to be knackered all that moving about from one place to another with junior Williams but I am sure, like the rest of us did, she’ll manage somehow! Tomorrow is suddenly a lot less busy that originally planned, I may even get to have a lay in bed! Wednesday could be very busy and I am sure it shall be. Thursday too, busy and then,...

Hmm, seems not so long ago it was lovely, hot and sunny outside and yet, here we are, just 3 sleeps short of December 25th and on the longest night of the year too. Am a little concerned we’ve not got enough for everyone this Christmas. I am reasonably certain we’ve spent the right amount, not so certain that it looks like we have. Why do I feel we have tucked something away somewhere and can’t find it? Amazing, just as I typed that we found one! I feel a little better now but still somewhat ‘tight’ on the gift front, I hope everyone understands. Christmas day I am sure shall be fun no matter how mad it is no doubt going to seem. Poor Anne is going to be knackered all that moving about from one place to another with junior Williams but I am sure, like the rest of us did, she’ll manage somehow! Tomorrow is suddenly a lot less busy that originally planned, I may even get to have a lay in bed! Wednesday could be very busy and I am sure it shall be. Thursday too, busy and then,...

I was concerned when things fell apart back in the early summer of 2009 for Daisy that she would have to raise Josh on her own and manage her education. I need not have worried as along came Sean. He has taken on a huge responsibility in raising Josh as his own, a new relationship, his own college course and, he has risen to the challenge. Of course, not everything has gone smoothly, there are always going to be pressures along the way, pressures enough for a biological father in a relationship with a new child let alone a 17 year old father. But, for a 17 year old taking on this challenge he has been incredible. It is obvious to see the love he has for both Daisy and Josh. The way he has matured in just a few short months is to his great credit. It makes me ever so proud to have Sean as part of this family and raising my eldest grandchild. I am aware that some people have wondered what Sean’s role was within the household and felt awkward as to whether to call him J...

I was concerned when things fell apart back in the early summer of 2009 for Daisy that she would have to raise Josh on her own and manage her education. I need not have worried as along came Sean. He has taken on a huge responsibility in raising Josh as his own, a new relationship, his own college course and, he has risen to the challenge. Of course, not everything has gone smoothly, there are always going to be pressures along the way, pressures enough for a biological father in a relationship with a new child let alone a 17 year old father. But, for a 17 year old taking on this challenge he has been incredible. It is obvious to see the love he has for both Daisy and Josh. The way he has matured in just a few short months is to his great credit. It makes me ever so proud to have Sean as part of this family and raising my eldest grandchild. I am aware that some people have wondered what Sean’s role was within the household and felt awkward as to whether to call him J...

Been visiting family all this weekend in Kent and Essex. Was wondering for a while, with the weather, whether we would make it or not. As it turned out, the weather was barely an issue. Journey times were acceptable. We had a lovely Christmas dinner with my dad and Kath though, not at all happy to hear about my dad and his health problems. I know I shouldn’t worry but I do only have one dad and it’s kind of important to me he’s OK. They also did us a nice tea as well, really looked after us. Both Sean and Daisy were in full clumsy mode but that made it all the more fun. The hotel, a Holiday Inn Express, was OK. No aircraft noise despite being at the end of the runway! I couldn’t sleep much though as the room was too stuffy, I really need a window open and don’t do well with sealed units with or without air conditioning. The mattress too was cheap so I felt that each time I moved I disturbed Deej which just kept me awake more. The following day, the Sunday, we travelled ...

Been visiting family all this weekend in Kent and Essex. Was wondering for a while, with the weather, whether we would make it or not. As it turned out, the weather was barely an issue. Journey times were acceptable. We had a lovely Christmas dinner with my dad and Kath though, not at all happy to hear about my dad and his health problems. I know I shouldn’t worry but I do only have one dad and it’s kind of important to me he’s OK. They also did us a nice tea as well, really looked after us. Both Sean and Daisy were in full clumsy mode but that made it all the more fun. The hotel, a Holiday Inn Express, was OK. No aircraft noise despite being at the end of the runway! I couldn’t sleep much though as the room was too stuffy, I really need a window open and don’t do well with sealed units with or without air conditioning. The mattress too was cheap so I felt that each time I moved I disturbed Deej which just kept me awake more. The following day, the Sunday, we travelled ...

Here he is, flaunting himself on local radio:

Here he is, flaunting himself on local radio:

I only discovered today that some are not getting this blog despite me thinking they were (and them thinking they should be). If you want to get regular updates, please let me know and I will sort something out

I only discovered today that some are not getting this blog despite me thinking they were (and them thinking they should be). If you want to get regular updates, please let me know and I will sort something out

Bugger, smilies don’t work (insert miserable face)

Bugger, smilies don’t work (insert miserable face)

My aim is to clear all outstanding stuff before Christmas so that I can just relax. All home movies are now complete and on the network, some are ‘live’ on the interweb:   YouTube - 2009, Birth until about 6 weeks - Josh.mp4   The one above is the most recent of the ones completed though I am not really too happy with the quality but, perfection is a funny thing to keep hold of. I have the family accounts to do (ouch) Family Politics need to be sorted too Do I extend the Christmas budget? I am so getting my allergy spray tomorrow cos this is silly with me sneezing all over the place and my nose is really stinging     Looks like the Boxing Day house party is going ahead, a good excuse to go to Makro I think. My JD supply is getting low, need some more I think.

My aim is to clear all outstanding stuff before Christmas so that I can just relax. All home movies are now complete and on the network, some are ‘live’ on the interweb:   YouTube - 2009, Birth until about 6 weeks - Josh.mp4   The one above is the most recent of the ones completed though I am not really too happy with the quality but, perfection is a funny thing to keep hold of. I have the family accounts to do (ouch) Family Politics need to be sorted too Do I extend the Christmas budget? I am so getting my allergy spray tomorrow cos this is silly with me sneezing all over the place and my nose is really stinging     Looks like the Boxing Day house party is going ahead, a good excuse to go to Makro I think. My JD supply is getting low, need some more I think.

I had this problem with a home movie I was putting together, it just wouldn’t write to file. I just kept thinking about it and fretting and then came up with a solution that I thought may work and … guess what? It looks as though it has! Sadly, I can’t solve every problem I bash into so easily. I do try and see a future problem developing and set things up to avoid it happening but, once things have gone horribly wrong, life just isn't that easy to sort out. Because of family/friends politics, my way of dealing with things isn’t always popular. I don’t work in the here and now, I am always thinking long term. That makes it all the more difficult … just like global warming … we all know the planet will one day be screwed but, what is better, wait for it to happen, it’ll be someone else’s problem or, try and slow things down now to maybe prevent it all going horribly wrong for our grandchildren? I know, grandchildren? Some have barely thought about children let alone thei...

I had this problem with a home movie I was putting together, it just wouldn’t write to file. I just kept thinking about it and fretting and then came up with a solution that I thought may work and … guess what? It looks as though it has! Sadly, I can’t solve every problem I bash into so easily. I do try and see a future problem developing and set things up to avoid it happening but, once things have gone horribly wrong, life just isn't that easy to sort out. Because of family/friends politics, my way of dealing with things isn’t always popular. I don’t work in the here and now, I am always thinking long term. That makes it all the more difficult … just like global warming … we all know the planet will one day be screwed but, what is better, wait for it to happen, it’ll be someone else’s problem or, try and slow things down now to maybe prevent it all going horribly wrong for our grandchildren? I know, grandchildren? Some have barely thought about children let alone thei...

In the summer I made a statement about someone who lives over Newton Road. At the time, with the information I had, I thought what I said was an accurate reflection of what was going on there, what it was like. I have a very real reason to regret that posting. One of the guys, Tom N, has totally proved me wrong from all accounts. He has taken total responsibility for his new family, given up some things which may have affected his judgement and is generally doing alright for himself. Whilst I appreciate, he may not read this, I do want to write an apology to him using this format as it is the one I chose to be critical. We are drawing 2009 to a close and I want the past firmly in the past (if that is possible) Tom N, if we meet, I’d like to shake your hand. It is good to know that a younger person takes life seriously and doesn’t shy away from their responsibilities. I also know he must surely know just how lucky he is to be a dad which I think means way more to him than anything I hav...

In the summer I made a statement about someone who lives over Newton Road. At the time, with the information I had, I thought what I said was an accurate reflection of what was going on there, what it was like. I have a very real reason to regret that posting. One of the guys, Tom N, has totally proved me wrong from all accounts. He has taken total responsibility for his new family, given up some things which may have affected his judgement and is generally doing alright for himself. Whilst I appreciate, he may not read this, I do want to write an apology to him using this format as it is the one I chose to be critical. We are drawing 2009 to a close and I want the past firmly in the past (if that is possible) Tom N, if we meet, I’d like to shake your hand. It is good to know that a younger person takes life seriously and doesn’t shy away from their responsibilities. I also know he must surely know just how lucky he is to be a dad which I think means way more to him than anything I...

A radical change going on 2009 has been a very traumatic year in both a positive and negative way. I am going to be totally honest here, I don’t want 2010 going the same way. I want 2010 to be a year of calm settled life. I don’t generally do the whole New Year Resolution thing, I never much see the point to it. This outgoing year though, this is going to be different because, this year, I have baggage to sort out. This is what I have set in my mind for 2010 People either go into it with us totally or they become the problem to be removed from the picture At least once, Deej and I are going to go on holiday alone together to see if we can’t remind ourselves what a relationship is like We are going to go on holiday as a family Anyone who lies to us is gone, history, no longer related to in any way at all. We are going to make a bigger effort to see friends and remain in contact No more excuses not for us or anyone else. If someone wants to be the pe...

A radical change going on 2009 has been a very traumatic year in both a positive and negative way. I am going to be totally honest here, I don’t want 2010 going the same way. I want 2010 to be a year of calm settled life. I don’t generally do the whole New Year Resolution thing, I never much see the point to it. This outgoing year though, this is going to be different because, this year, I have baggage to sort out. This is what I have set in my mind for 2010 People either go into it with us totally or they become the problem to be removed from the picture At least once, Deej and I are going to go on holiday alone together to see if we can’t remind ourselves what a relationship is like We are going to go on holiday as a family Anyone who lies to us is gone, history, no longer related to in any way at all. We are going to make a bigger effort to see friends and remain in contact No more excuses not for us or anyone else. If someone wants to be the pe...

One of the most amazing days of my life was when Jermaine was born, it was equalled by the birth of Matt, Zoey and Daisy. Each event so life changing, so amazing I can think of no other similar events to compare except, when Josh was born. How lucky am I? I get to be at the birth of all my children and then, as if life could get no better, I am at the birth of a grandchild too! They may not know it or even want to accept it because I can be a grumpy old sod at times, but my kids and my grandson are my everything and, my new grandchild too will be added to that list as well as Deej of course. I will reschedule anything for them, do what I can until my death bed for them, they can have my last crumb and my last penny if they really needed it. When I split from their mother several years ago I could not comprehend then or now ever not being a significant part of their lives. If I have ever made excuses for not being there, not doing something with them or for them, I am sorry. If it...

One of the most amazing days of my life was when Jermaine was born, it was equalled by the birth of Matt, Zoey and Daisy. Each event so life changing, so amazing I can think of no other similar events to compare except, when Josh was born. How lucky am I? I get to be at the birth of all my children and then, as if life could get no better, I am at the birth of a grandchild too! They may not know it or even want to accept it because I can be a grumpy old sod at times, but my kids and my grandson are my everything and, my new grandchild too will be added to that list as well as Deej of course. I will reschedule anything for them, do what I can until my death bed for them, they can have my last crumb and my last penny if they really needed it. When I split from their mother several years ago I could not comprehend then or now ever not being a significant part of their lives. If I have ever made excuses for not being there, not doing something with them or for them, I am sorry. If it...

Yes, this week has been busy, so busy it is difficult to recall just how busy but … busy will do. Today little Josh had his jabs and very painful they looked too. Daisy came along with me, she wasn’t meant to but probably for the best that at least one parent was there. His legs have swollen up bad and he has been a bit warm, not a happy bunny at all bless him.   Last week James got to spend some time with him which was nice and we finally have some recent pictures of dad and son …                   Last week we also got JJ to see the paediatrician in Northampton General. They have done more tests but the diagnosis seems correct and Josh is now on an iron supplement he has to have daily to counter anaemia.   At Duston School earlier on today was a valiant effort. I am looking for praise and the example it most deserves is that each of the cast members have given it their very best ef...

Yes, this week has been busy, so busy it is difficult to recall just how busy but … busy will do. Today little Josh had his jabs and very painful they looked too. Daisy came along with me, she wasn’t meant to but probably for the best that at least one parent was there. His legs have swollen up bad and he has been a bit warm, not a happy bunny at all bless him.   Last week James got to spend some time with him which was nice and we finally have some recent pictures of dad and son …                   Last week we also got JJ to see the paediatrician in Northampton General. They have done more tests but the diagnosis seems correct and Josh is now on an iron supplement he has to have daily to counter anaemia.   At Duston School earlier on today was a valiant effort. I am looking for praise and the example it most deserves is that each of the cast members have given it their very best ef...