Skip to main content

Low

For reasons I don't quite understand I am feeling very low at the moment. I am sure it is no one thing causing this but many smaller things. I do have stuff going on in my life at the moment but cannot resolve any of them, they all need time which means that whilst I am giving them that time I have a host of other things which remain unresolved.

One thing for sure is that I can't grasp any happiness right now. I can see it there for the taking and know it should make me happy but it just isn't registering. Every little bit of negativity is taking hold of me.

I need space to get my brain in gear and sort myself out but I don't have anywhere or, frankly, the money to create anywhere right now. With three very needy people at home I am never allowed time to myself except very late at night and that compounds the issue because going to bed at post 3am is not healthy. My feeling is that I am drained, exhausted. All I really want to do is sleep and that says depression to me.

The thing is, it's jumped up on me and I have caught it too late to stave it off. I just cannot seem to shake this one. I am not suicidal or anything like that just also not happy. I am not unhappy with any one person, group of people or anything like that, I am just not coping right now.

So, if someone reading this has some suggestions of where I may go or what I might do, I'd like to hear it ... well, possibly I might. I guess I don't know that I would because part of the issue is always going to be me not being in control!

Grrrr

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Budget Day

So, we have the ‘Let’s buy a whole host of gullible voters day’ with George Osborne. No doubt we’ll be told how employment is rising, how the deficit is falling, how we’re all so much better off now than we were (compared to what?). We’ll be told that there are still tough times ahead but that only a Conservative government can steer us through them. It will be pointed out how inflation remains low, how not raising duty on fuel has helped everyone as is seen by the current lower prices at the pumps (it’s going up again George). In short, I should listen to this budget later and decide to vote Conservative in May but, I won’t. Labour certainly did nothing to avoid the mess the country got in but they didn’t cause it. They made the mistake of trying to be too conservative, allowing high finance the freedom to cause a catastrophic cock up for which they took zero responsibility. They made the mistake of allowing Gordon Brown to take the job of Prime Minister, one for which he is totally...
2 comments
Read more

Not a good day

Today is a very emotional one for me. I have no idea why that would be the case but apparently it is. For a day that had nothing pre-arranged this one has turned out quite busy. First, I agreed to take Matt for breakfast though I wasn't really hungry. He was being quite argumentative in the morning about some thing or other, I don't recall what exactly but some matter of politics where he was going to argue the toss whilst knowing little or nothing about it. But, even so, I was quite upbeat as Jermaine had gone to school on time ... no, scrub that, i was upbeat until I yet again had to tell Zoey to get her arse out of her room, downstairs, do her chores and get to school, that is when this day started to go downward. I spent way too much money on a new doorbell, true, we needed one but not one that cost nearly £50! This too has not helped. I went to see a garage that can fit parking sensors to my car, all well and good but they needed me to supply paint to match the circles up ...
Read more

Understanding the British

As a nation we are a funny lot. We get through the worries of life with humour. Not always good taste humour and the words 'too soon' are often mentioned! Now, this is not unique to us, many other countries adopt humour to get them through. I am going to show some ideas of humour here, don't shoot me, we're just musing this topic. Moment of silence for the people who agreed to live with shitty roommates because they "wouldn't be spending much time at home anyway" There is going to be a lot of pressure over the next few days to talk to friends and family. Fight it. Stay positive Anyway, you get the picture. Actually, most of those came from the USA. It's terribly British for one person to cough and a whole host of others stare and one person shouts, 'we're all dead now, he's got the virus'. Obviously it's not a joking matter but, without keeping our sense of the ridiculous we would go quite potty. Estimates c...
Post a Comment
Read more