Steve from England

What can I say except that it was great. To see my family so happy makes it all worth the effort. Jermaine seemed quite tired but I am sure will have eventually woken up to enjoy his gifts. On the subject of gifts I got some amazing ones! In no particular order I am now the proud owner of three robo whatsits. I have plenty of books to enjoy. There is a model of the first expensive car I ever bought in the colours it was finally after an expensive repaint ... just before a thief wrote it off. I have this ever so sexy new keyboard and mouse.My joystick can't wait to be held and I know I shall have lots of fun with it.FlightSim has been upgraded and I am looking forward to giving that a bash. There is this fantastic Disney Villains Snow Globe and along with my fun water feature and my crystal light changer, I am a little lost where they are going to go but they will be somewhere special eventually. I was up too late this morning to have Lucky Charms but that doesn't mean I can...

What can I say except that it was great. To see my family so happy makes it all worth the effort. Jermaine seemed quite tired but I am sure will have eventually woken up to enjoy his gifts. On the subject of gifts I got some amazing ones! In no particular order I am now the proud owner of three robo whatsits. I have plenty of books to enjoy. There is a model of the first expensive car I ever bought in the colours it was finally after an expensive repaint ... just before a thief wrote it off. I have this ever so sexy new keyboard and mouse.My joystick can't wait to be held and I know I shall have lots of fun with it.FlightSim has been upgraded and I am looking forward to giving that a bash. There is this fantastic Disney Villains Snow Globe and along with my fun water feature and my crystal light changer, I am a little lost where they are going to go but they will be somewhere special eventually. I was up too late this morning to have Lucky Charms but that doesn't mean I can...

You know, even with all the amazing things there are to do, people had to go and invent boredom! With these kittens it is easy to believe that we all have suicidal tendencies or have become Emo because of the marks we have on our arms ... I suppose we have failed in teaching them at Christmas they have to be good and kind and not take chunks out of us! In just half an hour it will be Christmas 2007 and it only seems like 365 days ago I was thinking that very thought. This particular Santa has sorted all the gifts into neatly named piles ready for the big day. I was surprised just how many there are and, to be honest, can't remember the last time my own stack was as huge as it is this year. We have an unusually early start tomorrow aiming to leave here by 08:30 to go visit Jermaine who could well still be in bed when we get there! Because of that, I should really be tucked up in bed myself rather than sitting here drinking a rather nice bourbon. To anyone and everyone who reads this...

You know, even with all the amazing things there are to do, people had to go and invent boredom! With these kittens it is easy to believe that we all have suicidal tendencies or have become Emo because of the marks we have on our arms ... I suppose we have failed in teaching them at Christmas they have to be good and kind and not take chunks out of us! In just half an hour it will be Christmas 2007 and it only seems like 365 days ago I was thinking that very thought. This particular Santa has sorted all the gifts into neatly named piles ready for the big day. I was surprised just how many there are and, to be honest, can't remember the last time my own stack was as huge as it is this year. We have an unusually early start tomorrow aiming to leave here by 08:30 to go visit Jermaine who could well still be in bed when we get there! Because of that, I should really be tucked up in bed myself rather than sitting here drinking a rather nice bourbon. To anyone and everyone who reads this...

Earlier on today I thought I'd best put my shoes on ... as I leant down, BANG! I hit my head on the wall safe ... perhaps 'safe' is not the best word? Spent much of today Christmas shopping which was a little more challenging than I thought and, as always, finding the right thing is never the problem, finding it at the right price always is so I overspent as usual :-( Decided to go a little seasonal with the blog, it will change again as we leave winter behind. My back is still aching - again with the 'ouch'. Missing Matt

Earlier on today I thought I'd best put my shoes on ... as I leant down, BANG! I hit my head on the wall safe ... perhaps 'safe' is not the best word? Spent much of today Christmas shopping which was a little more challenging than I thought and, as always, finding the right thing is never the problem, finding it at the right price always is so I overspent as usual :-( Decided to go a little seasonal with the blog, it will change again as we leave winter behind. My back is still aching - again with the 'ouch'. Missing Matt

Matt moved out today and it feels very weird indeed. I can't get to grips with never asking him what time he is going to be home or whether Anne is staying or not. It's actually quite emotional as now 50% of my babies have flown the nest, I am half way there to being redundant. The first major move around happened at home today as well with the office getting a face lift. It needs painting but that can wait. Matt's old room needs painting too and that'll get priority. Of course, I may just not bother painting either but rather just use some tasteful pictures instead, it'll certainly be a lot quicker. Tomorrow we have loads of stuff to take over to the tip an desk to go to Nick. Both Deej and me feel quite crap. Him because he has a cold and me as I done my back a mischief yesterday. Most certainly a lot of the work tomorrow will be done by Matt and the girls!

Matt moved out today and it feels very weird indeed. I can't get to grips with never asking him what time he is going to be home or whether Anne is staying or not. It's actually quite emotional as now 50% of my babies have flown the nest, I am half way there to being redundant. The first major move around happened at home today as well with the office getting a face lift. It needs painting but that can wait. Matt's old room needs painting too and that'll get priority. Of course, I may just not bother painting either but rather just use some tasteful pictures instead, it'll certainly be a lot quicker. Tomorrow we have loads of stuff to take over to the tip an desk to go to Nick. Both Deej and me feel quite crap. Him because he has a cold and me as I done my back a mischief yesterday. Most certainly a lot of the work tomorrow will be done by Matt and the girls!

I was going through an old CD earlier dating back to 1999. It was actually containing back-up of much older content from when I first started using a PC in 1995 and even then, from some time in the 60's and a digitized few tracks of my family. My uncles, my nan and grandad and my mum and dad. It was weird hearing them again. My uncle Colin is always fresh in my mind and so distinctive. Hearing my granddad was most touching as he has been dead since 1968. Clearly I could not have known much about the man but I do remember bits and pieces of him. He loved to play jokes on us kids often scaring the shit out of us or chasing us about. He played the harmonica really well too. God Bless the Prince of Wales is popping into my mind but I can't for the life of me remember what it sounded like! He also settles as a very patient man in my mind for the times he spent, possibly hours, piecing together Lego models for myself and my sister. In some ways, and this is the first time this has cr...

I was going through an old CD earlier dating back to 1999. It was actually containing back-up of much older content from when I first started using a PC in 1995 and even then, from some time in the 60's and a digitized few tracks of my family. My uncles, my nan and grandad and my mum and dad. It was weird hearing them again. My uncle Colin is always fresh in my mind and so distinctive. Hearing my granddad was most touching as he has been dead since 1968. Clearly I could not have known much about the man but I do remember bits and pieces of him. He loved to play jokes on us kids often scaring the shit out of us or chasing us about. He played the harmonica really well too. God Bless the Prince of Wales is popping into my mind but I can't for the life of me remember what it sounded like! He also settles as a very patient man in my mind for the times he spent, possibly hours, piecing together Lego models for myself and my sister. In some ways, and this is the first time this has cr...

Hmm .... (image here that I am sitting on a deserted beach just thinking to myself ... I like to do that and have some of the most amazing thoughts and ideas doing it. Sadly, I rarely take a pad and pen so none of them will ever survive the day. Of course, now and then I have recurring thoughts which may be provoked by current circumstance or may just be milling around in my mind looking for a means of escape and, unfortunately, those poor thoughts just have my inadequate writing abilities to give them life. I don't recall reading any more about this subject lately than I normally would or seeing it on television but the issue of climate change has been bouncing around my mind recently. Not only climate change but the state of this planet in general. Thing is, I can recall quite clearly being told back in the 1970s' that in my lifetime the oil would run dry. We may be some time away from that but just how long? Just because something is a conspiracy theory doesn't mean it c...

Hmm .... (image here that I am sitting on a deserted beach just thinking to myself ... I like to do that and have some of the most amazing thoughts and ideas doing it. Sadly, I rarely take a pad and pen so none of them will ever survive the day. Of course, now and then I have recurring thoughts which may be provoked by current circumstance or may just be milling around in my mind looking for a means of escape and, unfortunately, those poor thoughts just have my inadequate writing abilities to give them life. I don't recall reading any more about this subject lately than I normally would or seeing it on television but the issue of climate change has been bouncing around my mind recently. Not only climate change but the state of this planet in general. Thing is, I can recall quite clearly being told back in the 1970s' that in my lifetime the oil would run dry. We may be some time away from that but just how long? Just because something is a conspiracy theory doesn't mean it c...

Disneyland was really cool Annoyingly, Deej got a tummy bug the first day and I got it a few days in which kind of buggered things up but we still enjoyed it despite the crap weather of the Sunday through Tuesday. Our planned Paris trip didn't happen as the French were in strike meaning hardly any trains. Matt now has his flat and that meant me going out straight off yesterday (Saturday) to spend about £1k on new stuff for him. I was totally shattered and feeling really bad by bed time. This morning I woke up around 08:30 and sat down to a tea when a call came through from the coach house. The guy in the flat next to Jermaine had barged in and trashed the place. Jermaine had been kicked and punched and two staff members needed hospital treatment. On the plus side, everyone was really lucky and nothing too serious happened with regard to broken bones or death. Jermaine was fine by the time I got to see him. That was some significant time as I had to sort through what was left in his...

Disneyland was really cool Annoyingly, Deej got a tummy bug the first day and I got it a few days in which kind of buggered things up but we still enjoyed it despite the crap weather of the Sunday through Tuesday. Our planned Paris trip didn't happen as the French were in strike meaning hardly any trains. Matt now has his flat and that meant me going out straight off yesterday (Saturday) to spend about £1k on new stuff for him. I was totally shattered and feeling really bad by bed time. This morning I woke up around 08:30 and sat down to a tea when a call came through from the coach house. The guy in the flat next to Jermaine had barged in and trashed the place. Jermaine had been kicked and punched and two staff members needed hospital treatment. On the plus side, everyone was really lucky and nothing too serious happened with regard to broken bones or death. Jermaine was fine by the time I got to see him. That was some significant time as I had to sort through what was left in his...

As a dad we want the best, OK ... let's get personal, 'I' want the best for my kids and I imagine them to be the best. When they are growing up we have a sort of game plan on how things are going to turn out with tons of room for adaptation but always within a framework about which we are certain, within that we can allow just about anything and it'll be fine. Annoyingly, other human beings have a habit of developing their own agenda without consulting anyone else or considering that anyone else may have already mapped things out. As parents we know we have to do the 'tidy your room' thing without ever seriously expecting them to think for themselves until they move out, that's normal rebellion. We expect chores to be done and are surprised every now and then when we are right, that's normal too. The point of all that silliness, all that which seems time consuming and wasteful is to hope that a little of this will rub off on them when they are in panic l...

As a dad we want the best, OK ... let's get personal, 'I' want the best for my kids and I imagine them to be the best. When they are growing up we have a sort of game plan on how things are going to turn out with tons of room for adaptation but always within a framework about which we are certain, within that we can allow just about anything and it'll be fine. Annoyingly, other human beings have a habit of developing their own agenda without consulting anyone else or considering that anyone else may have already mapped things out. As parents we know we have to do the 'tidy your room' thing without ever seriously expecting them to think for themselves until they move out, that's normal rebellion. We expect chores to be done and are surprised every now and then when we are right, that's normal too. The point of all that silliness, all that which seems time consuming and wasteful is to hope that a little of this will rub off on them when they are in panic l...

Yes, Beds to start off with ... some sofa beds are simply only fit for sitting on and even then their use is questionable! Trust me on this one, a solid base on which to lay is not good for the back or any other part of the body and boy did I so not get a lot of sleep in a recent sleep out. Memo to self ... take something soft to lay on next time. Just finished my latest book 'Eric' and along with the one I read previously, 'The Colour of Magic' I have to say I was disappointed. Terry Pratchett just does not write consistently good books. Both of these seemed to have either no real end as in 'The Colour of Magic" or, a very weak one such as 'Eric' It is almost as though he didn't plan on ending the book there but ran out of ideas so cobbled something together for the last few pages. I am back to wearing a zipper jean now after a while of buttons. The problem is that with buttons I don't bother doing them all up so never actually touch them at al...

Yes, Beds to start off with ... some sofa beds are simply only fit for sitting on and even then their use is questionable! Trust me on this one, a solid base on which to lay is not good for the back or any other part of the body and boy did I so not get a lot of sleep in a recent sleep out. Memo to self ... take something soft to lay on next time. Just finished my latest book 'Eric' and along with the one I read previously, 'The Colour of Magic' I have to say I was disappointed. Terry Pratchett just does not write consistently good books. Both of these seemed to have either no real end as in 'The Colour of Magic" or, a very weak one such as 'Eric' It is almost as though he didn't plan on ending the book there but ran out of ideas so cobbled something together for the last few pages. I am back to wearing a zipper jean now after a while of buttons. The problem is that with buttons I don't bother doing them all up so never actually touch them at al...

There was a time when I was king of the refund. Where I ever actually paid full price for anything expensive because I managed to get a refund afterwards. Most noteworthy was a 1998 8 week trip of Europe on which I made extensive use of my camera to get evidence of breaches of safety, terrible quality etc. Not only did I get the entire cost of the holiday refunded but in their confusion they refunded it twice so effectively paying me to go. Of course and as may well be the case in life, this was at a time when I could afford expensive holidays and didn't really need the money back. It was really just for the hell of it and for the hell of it I did it loads. For years I have lost my touch, maybe it is simply because companies have got tougher or perhaps it just isn't so much fun any more? I mean, getting money back from a bank or phone company or 'gestures of good will' is generally quite easy, too easy. Sadly, it also achieves nothing except me getting some money, it w...

There was a time when I was king of the refund. Where I ever actually paid full price for anything expensive because I managed to get a refund afterwards. Most noteworthy was a 1998 8 week trip of Europe on which I made extensive use of my camera to get evidence of breaches of safety, terrible quality etc. Not only did I get the entire cost of the holiday refunded but in their confusion they refunded it twice so effectively paying me to go. Of course and as may well be the case in life, this was at a time when I could afford expensive holidays and didn't really need the money back. It was really just for the hell of it and for the hell of it I did it loads. For years I have lost my touch, maybe it is simply because companies have got tougher or perhaps it just isn't so much fun any more? I mean, getting money back from a bank or phone company or 'gestures of good will' is generally quite easy, too easy. Sadly, it also achieves nothing except me getting some money, it w...

Yesterday Deej and I were in bed after the girls had gone to school/college. I got up at 9 and discovered a message on the answer phone from the orthodontist saying Zoey's appointment yesterday had been cancelled. Not wanting to confuse matters any longer than need be at 9:15 I telephone the college to tell them I'd not need to be collecting her after all. They sounded concerned and then said "She never came in this morning" So started the day of Zoey going missing. I telephone the taxi company and they confirmed that though they were sure she was at home she would not answer the door when they knocked. I then realised I would soon have to be contacting the police and needed to speak to Daisy first so she could say what she would know about having been the last to see Zoey. Duston school were arseholes. They seemed to go out of their way to be difficult despite me explaining the situation. They were stupid to a level I didn't realise was possible from apparently e...

Yesterday Deej and I were in bed after the girls had gone to school/college. I got up at 9 and discovered a message on the answer phone from the orthodontist saying Zoey's appointment yesterday had been cancelled. Not wanting to confuse matters any longer than need be at 9:15 I telephone the college to tell them I'd not need to be collecting her after all. They sounded concerned and then said "She never came in this morning" So started the day of Zoey going missing. I telephone the taxi company and they confirmed that though they were sure she was at home she would not answer the door when they knocked. I then realised I would soon have to be contacting the police and needed to speak to Daisy first so she could say what she would know about having been the last to see Zoey. Duston school were arseholes. They seemed to go out of their way to be difficult despite me explaining the situation. They were stupid to a level I didn't realise was possible from apparently e...

I forget to write anything to the blog and, it's not like there isn't anything to write as loads has happened, it is more a case that I keep putting off. The week following my last entry we had a meeting at the Coach House in Corby about Jermaine. It went as well as I'd expected it to. The only complaint from just about all sides was the total lack of will on the part of the company to get required jobs done. That weekend we went to see 'Stardust'. It was a last moment choice but a very good one as it was excellent. Then along rattled half term and we'd booked to go to Calais a day with the girls, stay over there and also in Kent taking in visiting friends and seeing my dad and Kath as well. French trip went real well. I doubt I will ever accept the stupidity of the border control people in the UK. It is always the British that cause the issues. "Where have you been sir?" "France" "Where exactly sir? "Oh, here and there, how exact d...

I forget to write anything to the blog and, it's not like there isn't anything to write as loads has happened, it is more a case that I keep putting off. The week following my last entry we had a meeting at the Coach House in Corby about Jermaine. It went as well as I'd expected it to. The only complaint from just about all sides was the total lack of will on the part of the company to get required jobs done. That weekend we went to see 'Stardust'. It was a last moment choice but a very good one as it was excellent. Then along rattled half term and we'd booked to go to Calais a day with the girls, stay over there and also in Kent taking in visiting friends and seeing my dad and Kath as well. French trip went real well. I doubt I will ever accept the stupidity of the border control people in the UK. It is always the British that cause the issues. "Where have you been sir?" "France" "Where exactly sir? "Oh, here and there, how exact d...

Today would have been the 74th Birthday of my mum. It's amazing she has been dead 21 years now. I always hoped I'd one day remember her clearly after the shock of her death wore off but I never have. I can remember images at times of things we did, just silly things like her making a cup of tea (and spilling it all over the place), crying to me of how much of a burden she was (she really wasn't though I must have acted like she was at the time). For all those visuals I have I can't get any audio memories back. I have no idea how her every day talking voice sounded. It's strange, other people I have known and lost it is though they are still around but when mum went she went near totally. I guess this is how I eventually came to feel about most of my relatives. I was rejected big time either deliberately because they wanted nothing to do with me or through apathy that it never even crossed their mind they should contact me. I can't help but get hurt we never get ...

Today would have been the 74th Birthday of my mum. It's amazing she has been dead 21 years now. I always hoped I'd one day remember her clearly after the shock of her death wore off but I never have. I can remember images at times of things we did, just silly things like her making a cup of tea (and spilling it all over the place), crying to me of how much of a burden she was (she really wasn't though I must have acted like she was at the time). For all those visuals I have I can't get any audio memories back. I have no idea how her every day talking voice sounded. It's strange, other people I have known and lost it is though they are still around but when mum went she went near totally. I guess this is how I eventually came to feel about most of my relatives. I was rejected big time either deliberately because they wanted nothing to do with me or through apathy that it never even crossed their mind they should contact me. I can't help but get hurt we never get ...

Will I ever get to the point where my life is totally stress free so I can enjoy it or will I be so old by that point that my body will simply become my stress? Hell, I dunno so better just do as much as I can now! Classic line heard from one chav to another earlier outside IKEA in Milton Keynes. "Shuddap else I'll hit you with a Christmas Tree Bitch!" On the plus side, Matt is still doing ever so well with his mobile phone bill ... at this rate he'll be like me having more minutes and texts than he knows what to do with. Daisy has hurt her foot and her arm so I have to get her to see a nurse and find out when she can use it all properly again because otherwise her course work at school won't be done. I am really depressed about my weight and need to get to the gym really soon. I have to accept cutting down on food is difficult just because Deej, bless him, makes it as difficult as hell when I ask for a small portion and I get a large one ... that and that I am ju...

Will I ever get to the point where my life is totally stress free so I can enjoy it or will I be so old by that point that my body will simply become my stress? Hell, I dunno so better just do as much as I can now! Classic line heard from one chav to another earlier outside IKEA in Milton Keynes. "Shuddap else I'll hit you with a Christmas Tree Bitch!" On the plus side, Matt is still doing ever so well with his mobile phone bill ... at this rate he'll be like me having more minutes and texts than he knows what to do with. Daisy has hurt her foot and her arm so I have to get her to see a nurse and find out when she can use it all properly again because otherwise her course work at school won't be done. I am really depressed about my weight and need to get to the gym really soon. I have to accept cutting down on food is difficult just because Deej, bless him, makes it as difficult as hell when I ask for a small portion and I get a large one ... that and that I am ju...

As there has been an explosion of people saying how I am a terrible dad for writing anything (I assume here) I feel that I need to clarify a little of not a lot. Firstly, very few parents take on parenting intending to ever fall out with their kids and very few, myself included, ever stop loving their kids no matter what. As those who know will know, my eldest, Jermaine, has sworn at me and attacked my physically many times yet I still love him and support him as much as I can. I still love my Matt and Daisy and Zoey too of course. The thing is, most people don't get to see what their friends are really like but rather just the image they want to let them see. I don't write on here at all unless I am really hurt or upset about something. It is my way of dealing with life so I don't take it out on other people. Generally speaking, not many people read this anyway. The front page actually reminds people what this blog is for and also says " I’ll probably always love you ...

As there has been an explosion of people saying how I am a terrible dad for writing anything (I assume here) I feel that I need to clarify a little of not a lot. Firstly, very few parents take on parenting intending to ever fall out with their kids and very few, myself included, ever stop loving their kids no matter what. As those who know will know, my eldest, Jermaine, has sworn at me and attacked my physically many times yet I still love him and support him as much as I can. I still love my Matt and Daisy and Zoey too of course. The thing is, most people don't get to see what their friends are really like but rather just the image they want to let them see. I don't write on here at all unless I am really hurt or upset about something. It is my way of dealing with life so I don't take it out on other people. Generally speaking, not many people read this anyway. The front page actually reminds people what this blog is for and also says " I’ll probably always love you ...