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Clouds on the Horizon

OK, no they're not, they are outside my window and it is looking gloomy again. Not just the weather but the atmosphere here is downbeat.

Last night I was able to give my eldest boy a shower and a shave which was a small miracle but this was mainly because he desperately needed the shit removed from him, I do literally mean shit here. I have effectively been cleaning up shit covered kids for 18 years now and have to say, I am just about sick of it, this is not what I signed up for ... or, I didn't think this was what I was signing up for when I decided to have children back in 1986. Neither did my then wife so she took the easy route when we got divorced and left the kids with me and now wants nothing to do with the eldest and very little interest in the others. Cutting off like that is a good trick if you can do it but I can't. I have this inbuilt committment to my children and that is me.

I am also not a small bit fed up with still getting post for Nick. It is nearly a month since he left yet even important documents are still arriving here

Robin will be here shortly to take Matt and Daisy ice skating in Milton Keynes, I hope they enjoy it as it is a lot of money for something they end up moaning about.

Speaking of moaning, Zoey had done very little but complain this morning. For a start she resents having to get up then she is far from keen on doing the dishwasher. Now she has decided she has nothing to wear, no trousers certainly, well, none that she likes so she is back in the ones she has worn all week and keeps wearing as soon as I an get them through the wash. She actually does have another 11 pair but, even though she chose most of them, she doesn't like any of them. Now she says she has a headache which I have suggested may have something to do with the amount of effort it takes to be so totally miserable so much of the time.

Jermaine is in an OK mood this morning but it is one of those whereby he can change almost in seconds and be totally awful.

I would like to have a holiday at some point this year, even if it is just for a week in GC or something, I need that break to recharge my batteries. For that matter, even a few days without having to think for another 4 people would be nice and I honestly believe the one that tires me out most is Daisy. She is wonderful on so many levels but she just never stop being so dominent in the household either asking questions, complaining or just making sure we all know she is about. Most of the phone calls are for her, most of the arguments involve her and it is really quite shattering.

More later maybe ...

I spoilt myself earlier ... OK, so I bough and Ipod and a new camcorder ... oh, and a new washing machine cos my old one busted but no, that's not it ... I also bought some Theakston Old Peculier and oh the joy of it!

Matts is trying to find some easter eggs in an Aladdin movie, I can't quite be that sad but he is really enjoying it he tell me. All he has so far found is the beast in the movie which would be difficult if not impossible to spot if not watched frame by frame ... no, I think I shall pass.

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