Steve from England

It’s been now 4 months since me and Dennis were together in the Philippines. The temptation to blow another few hundred quid for a few more days with him is strong but, I can’t. I find the stress of not being together overwhelming at time, occasionally we have stupid arguments because, instead of saying I just need a hug I start making stupid comments, nearly always at the wrong time. Of course, that’s not to say Dennis never does anything wrong, he annoys the hell out of me some times! But, I even love that about him and, more often than not, even though sometimes he is actually very wrong, he’s also right from a different perspective! I believe one of the issues with being single for so long is not being challenged and finding it difficult to accept that your loving partner is not at the same status as others in your life, the partner has the right to be listened to and acknowledged more than others. Not that others deserve to be treated badly more a case that, extra effort should ...

When I was a child I had a bucket list. I didn’t know it was one back then, not sure the term existed. I had a wish list, places I dreamed of going, things I dreamed of doing and, they were dreams too. I was in awe the very first time I saw Disneyland on the television, probably in black & white …. that means it was like, a really old TV because that’s how old I am. I knew I had to go see that place. I had no idea how I could or when but it was fixed hard in my heart, it had to be done. Of course, the Isle of Wight was the furthest I’d travelled which by any description would I have considered ‘abroad’ and I didn’t even know anyone I was aware of who travelled to other countries for pleasure. As I grew older I added New York to my list of places I wanted to see. All those amazing tall buildings, the yellow cabs, the park, wow. At 18 I got the opportunity to apply for a job there but was pipped to the post by a work colleague. By now I had at least been to France for the day! Tha...

I’ve decided that I am trying a different lifestyle. Except for special events I am going to turn off the electronics at 10pm and sleep by 11pm. After 9pm my phone will be off in my wind down time. I tried this last night, almost worked except that I woke up at 03:30 and needed to get up as my mind was too active to sleep. Half hour later I went back to sleep again so, getting there. My weight gain could be over eating, it could be the statins I am on but, it doesn’t matter what causes it ‘I’ have to change it. Since I lost weight I have now regained 8 lbs and feel like I’ve totally let myself down. MY clothes feel tight and I feel too heavy. Again, could be the statins but most likely the weight gain is causing aches and pains, none of this is good. I am going to be actively avoiding stressful situations. If I don’t want to deal with something a certain day then I’ll just put it off until another day and deal with it then. Me time is not going to be a luxury because it is clearly a...